How Time Goes Faster As You Get Older.blog

Carly has always made a lot of effort with neighbours. Well, she has tried to over the years. When she was a student living in Hackney, May and Flo, two sisters-in-law lived next door. They grew bronze-coloured chrysanthemums and said “Shame, shame” a lot to Carly. When she was living in her first property, she became friendly with a woman who lived next door and was then her doula for her two home births. In the house she lived for 20 years she was at war with one neighbour – a grumpy old couple. They had two cars but only he drove. This was so when they did venture out in one of their cars, they could move the other car a few feet and ‘sterilise’ the space so they could always park their two cars outside their house. 

But the neighbours on the other side more than made up for it. They were so friendly that they had a door made in the fence so the kids could easily go between the two houses. And then on the other side of these neighbours was another family with kids. But to enter their garden, they had to clamber over the intervening wall. But kids love this sort of thing, so it didn’t stop them hoping over anyway. Carly’s neighbour had a trampoline whilst Carly had an impressive climbing frame and swing set. They even had a zip wire which was tremendous fun until the miserable neighbours found some loophole and made them take it down. Such killjoys. 

After Carly had returned from her sabbatical in India, newly divorced, she lived in an Airbnb during the first part of lockdown in Turnpike Lane, London. The neighbours there had a super-cute white kitten. But this was a short six-week stay. Next up was the house in Horsell Road, Highbury, London. It was really near the Arsenal stadium and once the games resumed after lockdown, her road would be lined by swathes of fans in red marching down her road to and from the game. She could hear it so clearly when someone scored a goal. She had two neighbourly friends there, one of whom was Bessie, whom she met when passing her garden and commenting on her flowers. She lived seven doors away. Bessie, an artist, had a long-term partner Reginald and they had some unusual ideas about food and radio waves in the environment. They only bought food from a very limited number of producers, but Carly had several meals there, accompanied on two occasions by her younger two children, Tobes and Boo. Certainly, the conversation was fascinating. And Bessie was able to look after Carly at the actual time her ex-husband got remarried on the 4^th September 2022. Carly is forever grateful to her. 

Then Carly moved to Walthamstow, aka ‘The Stow’. She was only there for 13 months but met so many friends and neighbours. It was a really delightful time in her life. She didn’t like the Victoria line but discovered the joys of the overground and using innumerable buses. And she made the most of her time by preparing for her move to Israel with her dog Talulah by being organised and disciplined. And Talulah turned from a puppy into an excellent dog who was happy to go on all these aforementioned forms of transport. And up and down escalators. 

And off she goes to live in Israel. Talulah in the hold. Carly with all the other passengers. And it all works out. She arrives at her flat a few days later once her shipment paperwork has been cleared at the docks. She has a full container coming with 104 boxes. Six burly Ukrainians come to her place and moan about the narrow state of her road. She is a bit bemused as she gave the haulage company a heads up many months ago. And there are two entrances, but they calm down and dump the said boxes mostly in the right areas of her apartment. She is rather miserable and overwhelmed. The place smells damp. It is really dark. There is no cold water or gas and of course no Wi-Fi yet. But this will be rectified. These men make up her bed and dining room table and off they go. Carly feels exhausted and she hasn’t even started to unpack. 

But she decides it is best to go out and discover a bit about the neighbourhood. And not remain depressed in her flat. She needs to sort out a vet for Talulah. But always a coffee first. And there she calms down from the morning’s antics with all the boxes and the men who were nasty and mean and complained about their tip. As she sips her wonderful coffee, she asks about local vets. So off they go. Carly and Talulah. In search of a vet. She needs Talulah to be registered and to show all her vaccine certificates and health checks. She wanders around and eventually finds the vet. They speak English and are very welcoming. In fact, the veterinary assistant, Yala, gets up from desk, walks around it, gets down onto her knees on the floor and then rolls around with Talulah. Carly just cannot believe this country. So many extremes. Carly was miserable in the morning and elated in the afternoon. But it is time to return to said dark and damp apartment. This was probably because it has been vacant for a few months, Carly tries to console herself. Whilst she is emptying the boxes she leaves open her front door and as everyone goes past to enter the lift, she can jump out and say a friendly “Hello”. And Talulah can rush out, wag her tail, and add to the mayhem.

She is not yet friendly with all of them but she is making a concerted effort to do so.

Roy is with Eden, and they have a toddler Itamar. Roy came to Carly’s rescue on the first day and shared the entrance code. Repeatedly, as Carly seemed to have a block with this code. Roy has a motor bike and sometimes her cat Bobbin sits on it. Which isn’t good, as Roy is allergic to cats. But Roy is just far too nice to say anything. She has a fun, secret game with Itamar, which suits them both. She buys small toys and hides them around the hallway. It can be cars or animals or small rubbers. And she hides them all over the show and Itamar has to find them and point them out to one of his parents. Sometimes when he is feeling brave he may re-hide them.

Noa, Pini and their rascal son Raphael live next door. They have keys which is important as Carly was forever going out without hers! And they often feed her cats. Carly has been in their mamad (safe room) during a siren, but Raphael just much prefers to come into Carly’s apartment. He can run up and down the corridor inside her flat whilst being chased by Talulah and everyone is laughing. At any opportunity, if Carly’s door is open, Raphael rushes in. This is much more fun recently since he has learnt to run. Carly made Raphael a Chanukah present last year from fabric she was given from an elderly holocaust survivor who loved textiles. She made him a book with animals and the names written in puff paint. It was his first English cloth-book.

Eran and Dana. They petitioned Carly when she arrived to seldom use her garage door as her previous tenants did, as it is so noisy. She agreed and only uses it rarely – mostly for parties to provide a direct entrance to the attendees into her garden. Eran runs a bar and comes home late, and Dana is a pianist, and Carly adores hearing her practicing and giving lessons.

Ada is a lovely and friendly neighbour. She has an old dog Max and gives Carly an unused curtain with green embroidered bugs on it which Carly has transformed into a challah cover and six napkins.

Yotam and Noa are another couple who spend half the year running their Airbnb business in Costa Rica. Yotam is so very helpful and kind. And Noa crochets, like Carly; so all good.

Eitan is head of the building committee and writes notes quite a lot. And prints them out and puts them on the central door. Probably because he is not on WhatsApp. He, however, does love her cats. There are some other couples in the building who don’t. But they do have a point muses Carly. Her cats would often poop in one of the huge communal plant pots. Even when Eitan put in loads of wooden skewers. The cats would gently and carefully move the sharp sticks apart and still do their business. For an additional flourish, they would ensure that a load of earth was flicked onto the ground too, just so that everyone knew. Carly ended up buying large black river stones which solved the problem. She turned it into a communal event and she was ably assisted by Itamar and Raphael. This is not child labour. They loved it and anyway it was mostly the adults who did the work. And guess what? No more communal cat poop…

Carly has felt so warmly supported, even loved, by all the neighbours she has met. She experiences all the effort she has put into garner friendships and being neighbourly has paid off. She feels satisfied. But hopefully not smug. She cannot abide that!

Carly often thinks she isn’t good at doing charitable work. She thinks that as a healthcare professional you feel like you do this all the time with your patients. But let’s be honest, you do get paid to do this. So, it isn’t really benevolent, but it does make you, as the ‘volunteer’, feel good about yourself. Carly looks back on her long and varied career. She is glad she became a doctor. It afforded her a huge amount of variety and, in some instances, creativity. But this story isn’t going to be her work curriculum vitae (CV). No that is done and dusted. Well, pretty much so. Carly has an excellent part-time package to return to the UK from Jaffa to see patients in person for some of the year and get paid for it. So, in Israel, where she moved in September 2023, she has had loads of time on her hands. The bureaucracy at first was a huge and unfortunately necessary time waster. 

But this has passed, and not long after she arrived, the war started. So, Carly really felt the overwhelming societal pull to volunteer. She thinks that she either isn’t good at it or dislikes it. She wonders a great deal who actually benefits from all this relentless volunteering. At the Whittington Hospital, where she works in London, she sees some very noble volunteers in tabards trying to direct patients and relatives where they need to go. However, she has worked there for over two decades and helps inordinate numbers of lost people. She actually goes up and asks them if they are lost. They often are and she can help redirect them to the right place. It is astonishing in this day and age that no one takes signage that seriously and these punters are often already worried and anxious to be in a hospital. But Carly puts on her friendly face and tries to help those looking shell-shocked and overwhelmed. 

And anyway, Carly does have a track record of volunteering. She ran a local playgroup for years. When that finished, she planned to be a scout leader. But that was full of weird older men wanting to wear a military style uniform and spend their free time shouting at kids. No thank you very much. She had enough exposure to other people’s kids at work and didn’t want to start bellowing any more than she did already. 

Carly then went on to volunteer on the Chevra Kadisha as someone who helped prepare bodies for burial according to Jewish tradition. She felt she could be good at this. There was something not only very satisfying, but also calming in the procedures followed. And it didn’t matter if you were young or old, rich or poor, you all ended up with the same shroud garments before being gently placed in a coffin. Carly worked there for many years on a Sunday morning. She found it cathartic and enveloping. The cemetery had expanded, and the new area for the Chevra Kadisha was surprisingly poorly designed. This coincided with Carly’s divorce. She felt she no longer needed to cover her head. But she was told she did as that is the rule. Anyway, she had done it for long enough and so she quietly, yes even Carly can do that on occasion, left. 

Carly then had a bit of a volunteering nadir. Most of the time was taken up with Covid and then preparing for her move to Israel so she let that one go, without too much self-flagellation. This is in the metaphysical sense. Carly wasn’t a fan of the whip. Even when horse riding, she would rarely take a whip and if she did have a truculent mare or gelding, she could break off a branch to use instead, more as a threat than to inflict pain. She muses on the word ‘gelding’. This is a neutered male. She would like to have ridden a stallion but let’s be honest here. Carly can stay on a horse walking, trotting, cantering and even galloping. But she cannot control a headstrong stallion who might rear-up at any moment. We digress. Back to volunteering. Carly thought you could be a better mother, daughter, sister, doctor, and friend and that should be counted towards or instead of your charitable giving but really, she wasn’t able to think of something useful to do. So, she just carried on working and doing her stuff. 

Once Carly could find no more excuses, she submits to social pressure and agrees to volunteer. She prefers to offer her time randomly and not for too many hours. Also, she needs to be able to communicate in English. Despite her commitment to living in Israel, learning the language seems to be a non-starter for Carly. There are many ways to learn Hebrew. She could do an online course. But she would just spend her time fiddling about on her phone and not really concentrating. She did start an in-person Ulpan. This is the recognised way for new immigrants to learn to speak Hebrew. She signed up for a 10-week course. It was three mornings a week for four hours each time. It was in a classroom setting. Carly was by far and away the oldest. She just couldn’t sit still. Her classmates were all between a third and half of her age. She wriggled around on the hard school seat and did, sort of, try. 

In her family they have a rule that you need to try at least two sessions before agreeing to continue. She did this and said firmly, “No, get me out of here!” Then she tried private lessons with a lovely teacher in his home. She spent a lot of time not doing her homework, playing with his beautiful cats and avoiding doing much speaking at all. She lasted for a total of seven lessons. And then she remembered. When she was 18, Carly came on her gap year between school and university to Israel. She did a three-month army course. She felt standing there with someone pointing an M16 gun at her, she would learn Hebrew fast. But she didn’t. Yes, she was super fit by the end and could do 50 press-ups and 100 sit-ups. But still couldn’t communicate. She was good with nouns and appalling at declining verbs. Well, anything to do with verbs. It was hardly surprising she couldn’t learn the language 40 years on. 

But there is lots of volunteering where no communication is involved. Like food preparation or fruit picking. She started off in a cafe to make food for evacuees and soldiers. She spent hours cutting up frozen chicken into thin slices for schnitzel. Many of the volunteers seemed a bit clumsy and would often drop bits of chicken on the floor. Washing it wasn’t deemed hygienic enough, so she persuaded the leaders to let her have these rejected pieces for her dog. She had a huge amount to take home at the end of the shift. She washed the chicken and cooked it in a multitude of ways for herself. Talulah, her dog, had a bit but mostly it was for Carly. At the food prep place, if Carly was well-behaved, she could progress onto putting food into containers. Funny how there was even a hierarchy here. Much like at work. 

Working in agriculture was incredibly hard. A strain on your back and you were expected to do it for hours. Carly couldn’t last in Ulpan for hours and certainly not in the fields. She often managed to borrow a car and take friends and Talulah with. She picked a lot of citrus fruits this way for a few hours and then it was off for a fancy lunch nearby. There were often young people from America on volunteer programmes. They loved throwing oranges for Talulah to catch and return to them. Win win. Once when Carly was up a ladder with her sacks stuffed to the brim with lemons, she felt the ladder start to sway to one side. She really wanted to manage alone. So, she held onto a branch and used her legs to right the ladder. Phew. No embarrassing moments! She was with a load of Mexicans and her Spanish is about as bad as her Hebrew. 

She once went to a teaching hospital south of Tel Aviv. She enjoyed the session but was never asked back. Carly says to herself “That speaks volumes”. She also did some silk painting with children who were evacuated from their homes. But they just didn’t have the patience for this. 

Her favourite volunteering was with goats. Normally on Christmas day, Carly works in the hospital. She loves the camaraderie, and she doesn’t celebrate this festival. But in Israel, her friend Linda found out about goat herding. Goats can only eat whilst walking and need herders to keep them out of danger. So, they set off to get to the farm at 7am. They took 600 heavily pregnant goats for their daily walk over and then along a pretty well used highway. Lots of trucks and speedy cars. It was quite an effort to get these obviously very ‘herdy’ animals to go to where they were supposed to be. One goat would say. “Hey, fellow sisters, let’s see if there is some yummy grass over there”. Which might mean stumbling back onto the road. One brave goat followed by 599 of her best girlfriends. But they were pretty easy to redirect. Linda and Carly were whacked out at the end of this 4-hour walk. But they now have a new ritual for Xmas day they say to themselves. 

They decided to return the following month but on arrival the family seemed displeased to see them. The goats had given birth and were too busy getting milked and feeding their kids to be going on walks foraging for food. So, Linda and Carly instead bottle-fed the straggler kids who were too low down in the hierarchy to do it for themselves. It seems that not all kids are fed by their mothers. And when you have 600 to choose from you can see it can be tricky to choose the right mother… 

Luckily, Carly had and breastfed her children whilst living in a single-family dwelling rather than a commune. Carly chuckles at the thought of this intimate feeding being a free-for-all.

As is usual, Carly is exaggerating. In Jaffa, she has met a few diplomats. For sure more than she ever met in London but still not a load. And although she has met the one from Georgia more than once they are not yet friends. Carly is ever hopeful. And there was only a coffee meet up with the girlfriend from someone in the UK embassy as a one off. And a very fleeting friendship with someone from the American Embassy that Carly tried afterwards to meet up on Thursday evenings when this lovely woman came from Jerusalem to Jaffa. But the war on October 7th, 2023, started and the American woman was beyond busy. Oh, and there was someone that her son knew who worked with him in Erbil, the capital of the Kurdistan protectorate in Iraq. E-Nicola worked for the German Consul there, and she took Carly’s son Tobes under her wing. When Carly met Tobes for a weekend city break in Thessaloniki, she was introduced to E-Nicola and her son. They were a very warm family and invited Carly and Tobes over to watch the Eurovision song contest. Not usually something either Carly or Tobes would watch, but it was a good idea for an inclusive activity during the weekend. 

When they were shown round E-Nicola’s apartment it was full of heavy reproduction furniture and many glass-fronted display cabinets. Tobes totally loved all of them and to Carly’s horror (who was in fact an anti-fan of this type of dark and foreboding furniture), he would love to have this style in his own house one day. There are so many things you learn about people that you just don’t expect, mused Carly. The other thing of note in this flat is that E-Nicola very proudly showed the certificate her grandparents were given from the Athens Holocaust Museum for rescuing a Jewish family during WWII by hiding them. Although Carly felt that Thessaloniki was probably one of the ugliest cities she had ever been to and certainly the most in Greece which she so loves, she had a fabulous time with her son, a Barbie in a furry lilac coat and going to the museum of deception and illusion which was mind blowing for both Carly and Barbie!

Now to get back to the diplomats she knows really well. Christina and Jesus. An interesting set of names for committed Buddhists. And yes, they are both Buddhists but they aren’t both diplomats. Jesus has had a huge number of jobs from working in finance, with dead bodies as a pallbearer and now in wind farms remotely. But Christina does really work for the French Embassy. Carly met Christina with her colleagues at a fancy vegan restaurant when Carly was there with her NOT date Eric. Or maybe Carly was there with her gay friends Lorenz and Marc. She was for sure there with her dog Talulah as that is who Christina recognised straight away. Carly likes this vegan restaurant but sometimes thinks they try a bit hard with the food and it can be rather heavy. Carly doesn’t know anyone who really enjoys cashew cheese. However, Carly does love the 3D printed beef. The texture, taste, smell and presentation look exactly like the real deal. Amazing. Carly is still a committed carnivore.

Carly first met Christina and Jesus with their dog Rover as they were out walking their dogs near Park Midron where Carly goes pretty much every morning. It is a stunningly beautiful park and Talulah and Carly have their rituals. Carly allows Talulah off the lead which isn’t allowed and she has had a few fines. The last time they actually managed to run away but this was after the park warden had read Talulah’s microchip, so the escape was in vain. When Carly met this lovely couple with their dog, Christina had just broken a bone in her foot and was wearing one of those nifty plastic boots. No one seems to have funky coloured plaster-casts on their lower limbs now. Just these boots. Carly presumed that keeping people walking must make bone healing better and faster. Carly is a doctor and should know these things. But she hasn’t kept abreast of the latest orthopaedic developments. Lucky, she does now prescribe the newer medication ‘Movicol’ for children with constipation rather than lactulose. She has moved with the times. But even that is fraught with problems. All this only electronic prescribing is a nightmare. At least lactulose is lactulose on the drug menu but movicol isn’t there. You have to remember these wonder sachets are really called Macrogol 3350. Not a very meaningful name. Movicol says it all. To move along the stool…

Back to Christina and Jesus. Things went well and they all met for drinks at the Jaffa port for sunset with their dogs. And they came to Carly’s parties and brought lovely presents and made a fabulous cocktail for the partygoers. They went to each other for dinners and then came the games. It seemed Jesus loved games whilst Christina did not. And Carly was ambivalent but why not on limited occasions? She had brought some board games with her to Israel. But her diplomatic friends hadn’t bought any. First, they played ‘Touring England’. A rather dull game with little skill and a lot of luck. You each pick eight random towns around England and work out the best route to join them. That is the skilled part. The rest is down to the number on the dice. Next up they played ‘Rummikub’. This is a version of the famous card game with 4 different coloured pieces, jokers and numbers one to 13. And Carly, despite having played several times before, still came last. Their plans for the future are to play Monopoly. Jesus had never heard of the game. Christina and Carly were appalled. Carly had a set from her school that they had made on a special anniversary. No well-known names of streets like Knightsbridge and Pall Mall (London game version) or Times Square or Central Park (New York version). Just different areas of the school, the headmistress’ office, the games field and possibly the sheds where naughty girls went to smoke! Jesus wouldn’t be any the wiser. Then Carly remembers way back to her previous girls’ school, where she was caned by Miss Mackie, the headmistress, for some misdemeanour. It was humiliating rather than painful. It’s a shame she cannot remember the reason for the said transgression. Anyway, no more beatings in schools nowadays…

There was one day when Carly needed dog-sitting for Talulah. She knew that Rover got on with her, but Jesus and Christina were new to dog owning. But Carly thought it was worth an ask. They agreed. It was only for one night. And it was a weekend so that meant it was easier for them too. Carly went round with Talulah who was very excited to be with Rover. However, she was even more excited to get her mouth around a soft toy donkey. She had played with it on the previous visit. Rover wasn’t really into soft toys. Not so Talulah. She loved them. But, and this was a big but. Christina knew Talulah loved the donkey but it was a bit ripped, so she had set about mending it. See, says Carly, she is not the only mender in Jaffa. However, the doorbell had wrung, and Christina had forgotten about the donkey in mid repair. And Talulah made a beeline for the donkey and rushed off to play alone with it. The needle was nowhere to be found. It was not on the floor, not in Talulah’s mouth and not sticking out of the semi-repaired donkey. 

But Carly had a plane to catch, so had to leave. She told Christina and Jesus in her experience as a paediatrician of children swallowing sharp objects that they generally passed through them without catastrophe. Then Carly remembers when she had left her cat limping, and the vet had severely reprimanded her. Children and pets are NOT the same. But she had an aeroplane to catch and had to go. Christina decided to dismember the donkey and hey presto the needle was recovered! Everyone was happy and disaster averted. 

Carly has decided that Jesus has some funny ideas. She isn’t sure if he is actually pulling her leg. He refuses to believe that Carly plays netball. He thinks she has made up this game and it is a figment of her over-suggestible imagination. It is true that only people from the former commonwealth play it, but it is a fun game and although Carly has only returned to it after a 40-year break, she does enjoy it. So, Carly sends videos of not only her playing netball but also some on YouTube because that is where the truth is always to be found.

So what about the future? Christina and Jesus have extended their stay till summer 2026. Yippee thinks Carly. She has persuaded her friends to allow her to teach Talulah and Rover how to use doggy buoyancy aids in their small pool. This is something novel to look forward to…

Firstly, Carly needs to explain what these challah covers actually are. As the saying goes, the name itself reveals the purpose. Well, as they say, the name on the tin gives it away. There is no hidden meaning, in fact. They are used to cover the two loaves of challah that are eaten at mealtimes on the sabbath (Shabbat) by Jews. Particularly on Friday night and for Saturday lunch. Challahs are a bit like brioche and often plaited. They are covered with egg to make them nice and shiny and oftentimes, they are decorated with poppy or sesame seeds. In South Africa, there is a tradition to make them with raisins for festivals. And nowadays you can get loaves made with organic dark brown rye flour. But, Carly isn’t enamoured with this type. They are so heavy. Carly feels her stomach falling to the floor just looking at them, let alone eating them. 

Now she is living alone, she is often left with rather a large amount of challah if she has had guests over on Shabbat. Previously, her ravenous children would have gobbled it all up. Along with the dogs and the guests. So, Carly slices it up while it is still fresh and freezes it. Gosh does it toast up well and can even be used for desserts. À la Nadiya Hussein who once won one of Carly’s favourite competition reality TV shows – the Great British Bake Off (known throughout the UK as GBBO). Nadiya now has lots of different series and the one recipe that is most memorable is one with croissants, jam, butter, chocolate drops and ice-cream that you bake. The ice-cream turns into a type of custard. Delicious, if a bit heavy. And Carly will normally switch all the ingredients around. I mean why waste ice-cream when you can whip up some quick custard with some Bird’s powder and a load of milk. And, actually, it requires a lot of patience. No, Carly has none of that. And this explains why her custard is so very lumpy and she always has to sieve it. But it is way cheaper than ice-cream. Although the margin is less of a cost saving when you consider the lumps. And, anyway, now Carly lives in a hot country, so having something frozen for afters is really called for. She wonders if the heat has something to do with not being able to buy fresh custard in Jaffa? Probably there just isn’t enough demand. 

But why do the two challahs need a cover? Carly knows the answer as to why there are two challahs in the first place. When the Israelites left Egypt, after the ten plagues with Moses, Aaron and Miriam, they ate for 40 years in the desert. A portion of ‘manna’ was there every day for sustenance but on Friday there was a double portion to last for all of Shabbat too. She is fairly sure that most people accept this reason. But as for the cover. That answer is a bit more precarious. Carly was told that as the wine is blessed first, the challahs get upset at being second place and so the challah cover is to hide their second-class citizen ranking from them. It seems rather far-fetched to consider that an inanimate object such as bread, however lovingly crafted, would have feelings of jealousy or envy. With the ease of checking things on the internet, Carly has investigated if there are other more seemingly serious reasons for this cover. She finds none, and anyway, the one she knows about seems to be rather charming. So, Carly will stick with that explanation. 

Traditionally challah covers are made from fabric, often embroidered with gold and sometimes a braided edging. Carly finds them, for the most part, dreadfully dull. They are likely to be used for years and so should be a thing of originality and beauty. An art form really. And the fabric should be sumptuous but is often polyester, so it is easy to wash. But that is part of the challah cover’s charm. All the stains tell a story. So now when she donates the challah cover to a lucky recipient, Carly writes a note to NEVER wash them. And this obsession by so many people trying to keep germs at bay. Don’t get Carly started on that one. Germs are good – well up to a point. And certainly, all this endless washing and cleaning really isn’t good for the environment or the gut microbiome. 

Making challah covers does allow Carly’s creative streak to be aired. And it is sewing rather than knitting which makes a nice variation to her default crafting obsession. And the end product is something unique and wholly Jewish that she can give to others. Often as an engagement, wedding, or birthday present. Sometimes just because she wants to. It is always difficult to know how much to involve the recipient. It seems social protocol says that everyone should delight in any and every gift they receive. But Carly knows that there is often no accounting for taste. It reminds her of a mantra of her wonderful paddle-boarding instructor who often says. “The one thing you can say about common sense, is that it is not that common!” So, what Carly considers as the height of good taste may be seen as utterly ghastly by someone who will receive her gift. Thus, Carly has had to come up with a compromise. She tries to involve the recipient in the planning process. Like choosing the fabric, colour, motifs and size. Maybe a beach scene or a favourite city like New York. Carly must be allowed some decision-making and this feels like an excellent and cooperative way forward.

Sometimes she makes challah duvets. Of course, the bread is not about to go to sleep or curl up and read a book under it. Carly merely uses this terminology to explain that this genre of cover is padded and cosy. She made a number with fuchsia pink silk her father bought her in Thailand. The sheen was sumptuous, and the colour changed depending on how you viewed it in the light. This was because the warp (north to south thread) was a slightly different colour to the weft (east to west thread). 

Carly invariably makes four tassels, one for each corner. She has this process down to a fine art and recently; to add interest and noise, she has attached a bell to at least one of the tassels. On the back she sews in a label to let everyone know she made it. However, Carly doesn’t like being seen as a show-off. So, she carefully hides the label under a flap or ribbon to conceal what could be misconstrued as boasting. Recently she replaced the tassels with gender-specific Anime keyrings, one to represent each member of the family of five. She had considered making a pentagon-shaped challah cover to be able to decorate each of the corners with a keyring, but the shape was proving a headache, so used a dreamcatcher motif and there were five feathery hanging components instead. 

Carly usually gives them to individuals, couples, or families. Once she made a bespoke, purple challah cover for the entire Jewish community in Pune, India. They were very grateful, and Carly hopes it will get well used and soon become covered in stains! 

Carly, ever the extrovert, has tried to inveigle her way into leading a session on the power, beauty and provenance of challah covers at Limmud, a Jewish Learning festival, in Jerusalem this year. She has petitioned the organisers to run a challah cover workshop. Most of the sessions are political or text based. Carly’s will have to just be a little bit different. She feels, after some introductory blurb, she will provide attendees with some lovely fabric, and they will have all manner of pens, pencils, paints, stencils, stickers, buttons, and beads to decorate. Carly feels she can awaken their creativity and help them reach their potential. Carly is so excited about this potential opportunity to galvanise others to banish boring challah covers to the scrapheap. So far, however, she’s received no word to say she’s been chosen to run such an event. “What a shame”, thinks Carly.  “They really are missing out…”

Carly went to India for four months for her sabbatical. This was to allow her to immerse herself in her obsession of crafts, old and hopefully new. By chance, it was just before the dreaded coronavirus. She had chosen her time carefully, as all her children were now the age of majority and had some sort of a plan. Whilst she was away, they were all at university. It’s always imperative for someone like Carly to have a strategy. It keeps her grounded and focused. These are both really important concepts when Carly is going off into the unknown, by herself for a four-month craft adventure. She knew she had the boundaries of purple, prime numbers and spirals for her projects. 

She compiled a list of 133 crafts she wanted to undertake whilst there. She arrived at this number by multiplying her two favourite numbers, namely seven and 19. There are some of the usual candidates such as knitting, weaving, spinning, and crocheting and some less common crafts like quilling, cyanotyping and lapidary. Come to think of it, she cannot even remember what lapidary is. Actually, it is the polishing of gems and stones. Well, she didn’t do it anyway. When she counted at the end of her sabbatical, she had managed to do 89 of them. Some would come under the umbrella of hyperbole. She, for instance, counted banana bread as two separate crafts! Bread-making and cake-making. But it did have delicious lilac icing which tasted of lavender and was totally yummy! 

Carly looked back at the list for some crafts that weren’t really crafts at all. What was she thinking when she listed walking, animals, family, and mindfulness? Never mind. Nearly five years on, Carly, who never was great in the memory department, couldn’t fathom out what she had meant back then. She did see her family as they came for a visit, and she did some mindfulness, saw plenty of animals and walked most days. She hangs her head to the side and questions herself, “For real?” 

In the end, the only new skill she learnt in India was to make dreamcatchers. Well, it was the only skill she learnt from another person rather than on YouTube. She met Babu in Pushkar, and he was delighted to teach her. It was essentially pretty simple. Cover the wooden hoop with thread and then make a series of loops until you arrive in the middle. It needs adornments and embellishments to enhance its attractiveness and, of course, feathers to hang down from the hoop. In India, Carly made four dreamcatchers ranging in size from small to large. She used feathers she found and bought from Babu and jewellery items given to her by a fellow traveller. 

When she returned to the UK, she had an exhibition of all the arts and crafts she had made. It lasted four days and over 150 people came to see it. She encouraged all visitors to take pieces they liked after the show had finished. She was really surprised by what people chose. She, never in a million years, could have predicted what people liked and wanted. And it got her thinking. All these years, she made things for people. She knitted for them, sewed for them, and generally made all manner of items for them. But it was her choice for them. Not what they chose, and she kept this thought close to her, for the future. Certainly, if she is making something like a commission, she involves the recipient as much as possible, so they choose the pattern, colour, and size for example. 

And then Carly thinks back to all the presents she has received. Not just handmade items by her large circle of crafting friends. Everyone. Even down to her son Haz, who took a necklace out of a drawer and repurposed it and expected Carly not to realise. And her ex who used his secretary to buy her toiletries from just below his office or the very same chocolates each time, when she clearly neither needed nor wanted them. The worst present from him was an intricate piece of gold filigree jewellery. From Dubai. It was goddamn awful. And probably expensive and not returnable. Everyone knew it would never be her style. But therein lies the rub. You just never know what people choose to like and consider stylish as it is very personal and oftentimes unpredictable. Recently Carly has seen how Yemenite filigree work is made, she actually finds it quite attractive. Part of her change of mind is the ‘story’. Customers would go with a silver coin. The jeweller would keep a third as payment and then spin the rest into very fine wires and wind them round repeatedly to make these intricate designs. 

Carly liked the provenance of dreamcatchers, what they do and how they look. And it was a skill she wanted to continue. Best of all was the mantra she had learnt in medicine. See one. Do one. Teach one. That is for learning a surgical skill. But it would work well for making dreamcatchers. And she was asked to contribute towards a wellness day for paediatricians in training. She had done silk painting in the past with this group and this was very popular, but this time Carly offered her skills as an expert dreamcatcher maker. Carly knows all about imposter syndrome. But this is the opposite of that. She had made a sum total of four in her entire life and that was several years ago. Hardly an expert at all. A dabbler at best…

Carly is sure she can live up to others expectations of her. She just needs a little practice. So, she gets busy ordering vast numbers of wooden embroidery hoops. She buys brightly coloured feathers and uses her large stash of beads and yarn for her teaching. She is told there are likely to be about 100 participants. “Fabulous”, Carly says to herself. She loves to amuse a large crowd. The bigger the better.

On what, Carly thought, was the allotted day, a little ahead of time to be able to set up, Carly arrives with a vast suitcase of materials to make dreamcatchers. It is rather odd, Carly ponders. There is no sign and there are no paediatricians. And then she checks. Oh no! She has the wrong date. And she is abroad when she is supposed to be doing this teaching. Being a resourceful person, she makes some videos and leaves all the supplies visible for this to be a self-directed session on the right day. However, Carly refuses to let this crush her. She finds some maxillofacial surgeons on their lunch break that very day she has turned up with all these supplies. She persuades them this is a skill worth learning and they agree. So, all her preparation, which was minimal, is not lost, as Carly is comfortable improvising.

Carly has always thought of dreamcatchers as objects. Physical ones to catch dreams, obviously. When she went to a hippy-dippy village in the north of Israel she found an excellent coffee establishment that sold lovely temporary tattoos. She chose a few but the one she really liked was a pretty and floaty dreamcatcher in blues and purples. And this put an idea in her head. She has been looking for a logo to represent her, the creative Carly, and she thinks she has just stumbled across it. A purple dreamcatcher. And, also, it was flat. It was representational and not a catcher of dreams. But lovely with the iconic shape.

And now Carly has a plan when she is away from home to get her creative juices going. She makes purple dreamcatchers on khadi paper which is made from recycled cotton saris. She collects all manner of things to decorate them including local leaves, flowers, small stones and shells. As well as beads, buttons, tablets and sweeties. She uses pens, pencils, inks, paints and crayons for the basic shapes. And uses glue to attach objects and embroidery thread to sew items on. Carly is really a dreadful artist. She is, for sure, not a copier of reality. She cannot even draw an oval or circle, so, uses stencils to help her out. She only ever makes them on holiday and has made up to seven a day. They are labelled with the location and date. Carly has made several hundred to date. It seems to be something that both calms Carly and sets her up in an inspired mood for the day. 

And with this number of them, she must give them away. Otherwise, she will be overwhelmed with them, and they will get dusty. She catalogues all her dreamcatchers and has written several blog entries about different sets. And then they are up for grabs. She suggests people take one or two that they like and tells them that she won’t mind at all if they don’t take any. Obviously, this is a ruse because Carly sees it as an affront to her creativity if people cannot even find one they like. But what she does know is that people like to be able to choose them. In some instances, people like the same one, but the good thing is that there is likely to be some other but similar dreamcatcher in her stash that appeals and satisfies the loser. Carly muses that people who take over three are just plain greedy. 

Carly has recently returned to making real dreamcatchers. She has all these hoops and plenty of other materials. But she must never buy any more of those brightly coloured feathers. They are from China and cruelly removed from birds according to Carly’s new friend Linda. But that is ok. Linda has a parrot, Perro, who provides wonderful feathers for Carly’s real dreamcatchers. “Phew”, thinks Carly, “Everyone is happy now!”

Carly has an appointment at the Ministry of Absorption in downtown Tel Aviv. Her fold up e-Brompton was refused entry, and so Carly, with her platinum U-lock, chained it up and told the bike not to go and get itself stolen, as it wasn’t yet insured. The purpose of this visit is to tell Carly her rights and hopefully benefits of becoming a recent Israeli immigrant. It means she knows where and when she will receive some income for the next six months, as well as what discounts she is allowed. It is an appointment designed to make her feel welcome. She wonders what other countries have such a system set up for new immigrants. “Maybe it’s because the bureaucracy is so horrendous”, Carly suggests. “No”, she thinks. That is pretty much the same in most places. Maybe Israel really does welcome new citizens. “Does that account for Israel being one of the happiest countries in the world after Scandinavia”, wonders Carly. In fact, it’s not happiness at all. It is self-actualisation. That makes more sense at this current tricky time.

Carly finds herself sitting next to Batya whilst they are both waiting for their allotted time slots at this Government department. Carly hears Batya, a woman with luscious, dark long black hair about the same age as Carly, talking to her daughter on the phone “No, they don’t seem to make raisin challah for Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) like they do in South Africa”. Carly leaned towards her, careful not to invade her space. Carly made a comment “That could be a thing, like a business venture!” Batya laughed, ended her call and they found they both lived in Jaffa. Then they swapped mobile phone numbers. “Oh, my goodness” they both exclaimed simultaneously. They had identical numbers apart from the last two digits. It was clear they had come to live in Israel only a few days apart, as they had been given these SIM cards on arrival. So, they had five things that bonded them already: gender, English speaking, age, mobile phone number and living in Jaffa. 

Off they went for their separate appointments and vowed to meet up for coffee later that week. They arranged to go to café Ada together. Excellent coffee but a bit pretentious. Carly could probably volunteer for the tourism centre in Jaffa and only give advice about coffee institutions – she had made it her mission to try them all out and rate them for the standards of their beverages, staff friendliness and venue ambiance. But café Ada was on her road and so a useful place to hang out as well as a well-known meeting spot. Then they discovered that not only did they both have dogs who were transported in the plane hold, but also, they loved knitting. Carly was in ecstasy. It was so lovely to meet a fellow crocheter and knitter. For once, she could discuss her favourite designers and what yarn she liked to buy without any reluctance or embarrassment. When Carly returned to London for work a few weeks later, Batya was able to order a cardigan kit from Marie Wallin. It took up quite a bit of space but what could be better than carrying around sumptuous yarn? Batya more than returned the favour by fetching way cheaper anti-worm/flea/tick treatment for Carly’s menagerie of animals from New Zealand when she returned there for her daughter’s wedding dress fitting.

Having an almost identical phone number did have one disadvantage. They both used the same pet shop. In fact, Carly probably spends more money there than in any other shop. On toys, food and of course treats as well as things to promote dental animal hygiene. The staff really like her dog Talulah and teach her new tricks like ‘rabbit’, where she has to sit on her back legs and ‘round’ where she has to go around Carly before she throws a ball or stick. These all keep Talulah on her toes. Recently they advised on a type of training slip leash as Talulah is still a bit ‘pully’. At the pet shop they always ask for your phone number to bring up your account. Usually, you only need to give the first few numbers. But this is neither the case for Batya, nor for Carly. They need to give the number in its entirety. But that is a pretty minor disadvantage to an otherwise good friendship.

Carly and Batya have both been divorced. But Batya’s was a long time ago and she has since remarried the wonderful Sonny. He is the consummate gentleman. Always looking after Batya and collecting and delivering her to places she needs to be. His only real fault is that he is ridiculously tall. But that is all relative. Carly is exceedingly short. Sonny works with helicopters. It sounds very exciting to Carly, but he reassures her that it is mundane most of the time. The demanding problems are dealing, as always, with staff. Like Carly, Batya is in healthcare. As a hand therapist. Carly shows Batya her small fold-up keyboard she can connect via Bluetooth to her phone. This means she can save her thumbs from texting, prevent repetitive strain injury, and keep knitting. It reminds Carly of a mug she has seen. “Keep calm and carry on knitting”. She is sure Batya is impressed with Carly’s attempts to undertake preventative measures. 

Batya is also a very good baker. She has given some of her sourdough starter and taught Carly how to make some very delicious breadsticks. For Carly, there really are too many steps, and maybe, quietly, Carly might renege on one or two of them. And then she goes on to being as experimental as she dares with her additions to the sourdough sticks. She tries the usual ones like olives, dried fruit, and nuts. But when feeling enterprising, she has put in Bombay mix or popcorn. Unfortunately, Carly cannot rejoice. They really don’t work out at all.

Batya has worked very hard at learning Hebrew. She takes it very seriously. Carly is a tiny bit embarrassed about her own learning journey. Well, actually, Carly has actively decided that, at 59, she isn’t going to learn. Well, not in an active sense with a teacher. She was rubbish when she was 19 on her gap year in Israel. Why on earth would things have improved 40 years on? But she admires Batya for speaking it well enough to work in a hospital as a hand therapist. “Well-done Batya”, says Carly.

Several months after they met, Batya confessed that she wasn’t really sure that Carly was who she claimed to be. She thought that Carly was over-the-top (which she is) and not to be believed. So, she looked Carly up to see if she had an online profile. And there she was. The person she did claim to be! When Batya owned up to this, Carly guffawed with laughter and said “How very comical”.

Both Carly and Batya are keen to expand their circle of local crafters. And this has led to a series of evenings to realise this. With lots of sourdough bread sticks. To eat. Not make. And alcohol. To drink. Not so good for consuming when reading complicated knitting patterns. But good for the soul. Carly has always loved a drink. Batya less so. She did intend to improve but like Carly’s inability to learn Hebrew, Batya has given up and remains tee-total. Through their circle of crafters, Carly agreed to make some crochet inserts for a final year fashion degree piece for a friend-of-a-friend. But Carly isn’t a very expert crocheter. She can only really do flowers. So, she had to go to Batya for advice who shook her head gravely and said that she knew Carly would take on this project and come running to her for help. But it all worked out in the end. 

So, not only did Carly enjoy Batya and Sonny’s company and hospitality, but so did Talulah. She would greet their dog Ted with exuberance and mischief. Usually, Ted was alright with this. But sometimes the young upstart Talulah would eject Ted from his own bed and then he would wander around a bit miffed. But there is always a hierarchy in life. For instance, Batya is better than Carly at Hebrew, knitting, and baking. But Carly is better at being a doctor. Well of course. Batya isn’t a doctor. And Batya is better at being tidy and keeping her apartment spick and span. Carly is better at accumulating and accepting mess as well as allowing sand from her animals in the bed. Well, up to a point. It can get irritating sometimes, Carly muses. She wonders if sand is good for exfoliating her skin at night? This is just a random excuse for not shaking all that sand out onto the floor, before it is caught in paws and returned back onto the bed.

Batya is also not shy to tell Carly a thing or two. She told Carly that in the winter Talulah was cold and needed a coat. Carly never put Talulah in a coat in the UK and that was much colder. Even when it snowed. Gosh did Talulah love frolicking about in all that white, cold powdery stuff. And Batya also remonstrated that Talulah needed a handmade blanket for her bed. Carly capitulated on both counts. Talulah has a nice coat from Puebla in Mexico and a purple knitted blanket with alpaca yarn edging. 

Batya and Carly have a competition to see who can provide the other one with a location of a particular picture by their favourite street artist who goes by the name ID (Imaginary Duck). They both fail dismally at this. Only the person who took the photo knows. However, they do both love this artist. And, as we all know, it’s the taking part that is important. Not the winning. But maybe that is not true. Carly does love to win… And Batya refuses to play netball in case she loses…

Carly is very excited about turning 59. It is a special number. Not only is it a prime number, but it is the last one before she enters into the next decade. Her 60s, which is when people retire. Although Carly is technically semi-retired already, she is still working part-time in the UK for the NHS at her beloved Whittington Hospital. As she now has her Israeli Medical License, she can see paediatric patients in Tel Aviv, but they haven’t really been particularly forthcoming. So far, only one patient per month in the first 60 days! But both were really interesting, and Carly felt she was able to help them and make a diagnosis. Not necessarily the ones the parents wanted to hear! The first one had ear pain, but he seemed not to care at all when Carly carefully placed her stethoscope into his ears for him to listen to his and his father’s heartbeat. Her stethoscope is so tight that it even hurts Carly’s ears. The child was fascinated and did not complain at all. So not much real otalgia (ear pain) going on there. The other one was a delightful, lively child who had an itchy bottom and kept one of his fingers almost permanently down the back of his pants to scratch his nether regions. This seemed at odds to his mother’s apparent microbe obsession which prevented Carly from removing her son’s shoes to weigh him, in case the clinic floor might be full of germs and harmful to him. Maybe this mother thought that germs from outside the body are so much more damaging than those from inside his bottom. Carly just sighed to herself, “How wrong some people are”.

But this story is about her birthday and not Carly’s antics as a doctor. Carly decided she should throw a party. She had already had three parties since her arrival in Israel, six months previously. There were two Jaffa craft evenings designed to bring together women of all ages who wanted to knit, sew, and embroider. They were both super successful. Then she was persuaded on the back of these parties, and having an apartment suited to such events, to host a New Year’s Eve (NYE) celebration. These gatherings always follow the same theme. Carly finds the street art of her favourite illustrator (Imaginary Duck) and uses this with the text. There are quite a number of slightly different ones around Jaffa, so she isn’t about to run out. The NYE one was well attended. This was her first one with a few men – husbands could come to this. Everyone brought food and lots of people drifted in and out. Certainly, there were people who had other parties to dash off too. And, also, several people, like Carly, who prefer to go to bed early. Not that Carly could do this on NYE when she was entertaining her friends in her flat. She hoped everyone would disperse at around 5 minutes after midnight. Maybe earlier? Carly is always optimistic she will get to bed early, but she knew she must stay awake for the year change from 2023 to 2024 before ushering everyone determinedly out of the door.

There were lots of people at the party. When people decided to leave Carly was very clear. She thanked them. She hates it when party hosts reprimand party attendees for wanting to leave before the end. It is a bit of a mantra for her. She wants people to say goodbye and not feel guilty. After all, they have all made an effort in getting there and Carly feels she should thank them for coming. Only the last six die-hards remained at 23:30. So, they all sat down and chatted about their plans for 2024, what they enjoyed and didn’t enjoy about 2023. Together they did a countdown, and it was easy for everyone to kiss everyone else as is mandatory as there were so few punters left. They also lit sparklers and whizzed them about in the air whilst drinking fizzy wine.

One minute later a siren went off. Talulah, Carly’s faithful hound, was already in the bedroom. She is a very sociable dog on the beach or park but not so keen on parties. Who only knows where the cat Bobbin was at that time, but the six humans all bundled with their drinks into Carly’s safe room (the mamad), which conveniently doubles up as her bedroom. The party continued in there with six people lounging on her bed and Talulah curled up underneath. 

Carly sighed. No one was going to leave by five minutes past midnight, as the rules stated that you need to stay inside for 10 minutes after the siren starts, allowing time for rubble to stop falling. Luckily, most people lived nearby, and the one person from slightly further afield could easily catch a bus. All in all, a very successful party and Carly was in bed by 00:20. She bargained with herself that she could do the clearing up in the morning. 

So, the stage was set for Carly to host her own birthday party. By now she had amassed quite a lot of friends. Nearly all new. Mostly Anglos. Often through her dog and now more often through other friends who she’d met through said dog Talulah. She chose another one of the Imaginary Duck illustrations of a girl with her cat and suggested people bring food and drink. 

To ensure she used language that was funny and appropriate rather than too direct and rude, she checked it first with a friend. She asked people from 19:07 as this was a prime number and she was hopeful they would all have left by around 22:07. Obviously, some could not come as they had other commitments. One of her friends berated her for making it on a Thursday as this was her art night out. Carly apologised for when her birthday fell and said she would be fine for the next few years when 21^st March wouldn’t be on a Thursday…

The weather was a bit mixed, so the food came in from the garden and later went back outside when the drizzle stopped. Some people made marvellous cocktails, others brought along white chilli chicken, smoked salmon held together with chive stalks and there were lots of desserts too. Carly suggested her old school friend light her cake and lead the customary singing. There were actually three songs. Happy birthday in English, the same tune but translated into Hebrew and Carly’s favourite one “Happy birthday ooooh, happy birthday ooooh, people die every day, happy birthday ooooh”. Recently her good friend Nina has added a line before the people dying; babies cry every day, etc. Carly likes this addition. It is slightly less negative. Carly was delighted with how many people came. She thoroughly enjoyed herself and left opening presents till the next day. That way she could open them and thank people all at the same time. This is very important. Thanking people for presents. Yes, nods Carly. This is imperative.

She was given some jewellery, some scarves – one fabulous and one ghastly – and two restaurant meals. Nina took her to a wonderful beachside classic Jaffa eatery the next day for lunch. Delicious, with wine and lots of girl chats and laughter. Two other friends decided to treat her to a very special evening. They planned it well ahead of time so it wouldn’t clash with netball. This is a Sunday sacred event for Carly although she was shockingly bad at this game having not played since school 42 years beforehand. But she is necessary for the team to make up numbers. They settled on a date in early May. It was a wine and cheese evening. “Well, that is pretty standard”, thinks Carly. However, it was at Talaga’at. A centre in Jaffa for blind people who work in a specially designed restaurant and perform in a theatre. You had to lock away your phones, so they didn’t ring and light up and ruin the experience. You went into a dark corridor and then walked in holding firmly onto both shoulders of the person in front of you. Pitch black. One of the hosts sat you down and told you to carefully inch your hands forward to find the plate with the cheeses and the three glasses of wine in front of it. One red. One rosé. One white. 

Being a person of limited patience and eager to get going, Carly sampled the wine to the right. Carly expressed silently to herself that it was white. She was almost certain. Then she wasn’t completely sure and so rather than embarrass herself (not that anyone would see her going bright red), she didn’t tell anyone. In fact, she was wrong. It was red! Amazing how much significance colour plays in what you drink when it seems clear to all sighted wine lovers that red is completely different from white or rosé in taste as well as scent. The latter two could be confused with each other but not red. Well Carly didn’t know the difference and was rather mystified. And a bit upset, as she does so like to be RIGHT ALWAYS. 

The hosts all had amazing stories to tell. The best question was about how blind people dreamed but all of them there did originally have sight as children and so did dream visually. Carly wonders how people who are blind from birth do dream. It was fun to learn new things, and experience drinking and eating in a novel setting. Carly was very grateful to have had such a wonderful and celebratory birthday.

Actually, Carly has been to Mexico twice before. Both times in late February and she has booked to go and stay with her friends Joanne and Norbert for a third time at the same time of year. It has become a regular trip. “It must be a thing”, Carly says to herself. Joanne and Carly go way back. They met when Carly ran a playgroup for toddlers at her local synagogue. Joanne, a committed attendee, and was a dab hand at drawing, being an artist by profession. She could use her skills to help entertain these energetic and high-spirited young children. The most momentous was a skeleton Joanne drew using crayons and that cheap paper you use under wallpaper having drawn round one of the parents there for her outline. Carly was very impressed by how all the internal organs were drawn so correctly. Carly knows a thing or two about these structures, having had to dissect a body back in the day. Well actually in her first two years at medical school. 

As a doctor now, she isn’t really very good at remembering all the minutiae, like all the bones in the wrist or the ankle. Carly is a firm believer in only keeping what is absolutely necessary in the front and centre of your brain. Previously, the rest could be found in textbooks. Now don’t even need to type into your phone – you can just shout your question into one of the voice recognition software apps. And up comes all those funny little bones with Latin names. Although sometimes it almost seems these apps deliberately misunderstand you. 

Maybe, like Carly, Alexa or Siri could be wayward. She can understand why Alexa was chosen. A nice girl’s name! But Siri? “Some male having a joke?” Carly presumed. But hang on one minute. Carly, as is often the case, is far too quick to judge. Siri is actually a Scandinavian name for a female who is both beautiful and brave. Oh, and a type of crab in Brazilian Portuguese. Wrong again Carly. And she’s just found out there is another digital assistant – Cortana. But that one has been removed. Phew, it sounded too much like the Ford Cortina car. And it was, in fact, named after a nude female assistant in an online game. And another sigh of relief. Later on they clothed her as appearances must be upheld.

Carly lived near Joanne, and they continued to be friends way after the kids were no longer toddlers. It was Joanne who advised Carly about not trying for more children when she was already struggling with the three she had. Joanne is wise and able to challenge the headstrong Carly. They also did one of those all-American horse-riding holidays together where the men and boys attempt to gallop all day long. Ones where everyone wears cowboy boots and Stetsons. Carly remembers a three-generation family of 17, where not only did they have matching red hats and red boots, but also red neck bandanas and red plaid shirts. Of course, everyone wore blue denim jeans anyways. Otherwise, all that red might have been misconstrued as devil worship.

Carly and her family really enjoyed these holidays. They continued on without their friends to do another horse-riding holiday in Utah at a Mormon ranch. That was a bit tricky as there was no wine, no coffee and nothing in the way of vegetarian food. There was, however, a very nice Pitbull terrier called Sally. This managed to challenge Carly’s notion that ALL these dogs are very dangerous. Sally was a super soppy dog. And Carly came away with warm and fuzzy feelings about Mormons. So much so that she never went to see ‘House of Mormon’ as it felt sacrilegious and an affront to their kindness shown towards her on this holiday. 

Joanne regularly checked in with Carly during her divorce. Coincidentally, when Carly decided she wanted to move to live in Jaffa, Israel, Joanne and Norbert relocated to Tepoztlan, Mexico. That was more about Norbert always flying to New York for work and Mexico being the same time zone, give or take an hour, and much nearer. Like Carly, they also wanted a new project to put zing into their lives.

Carly was invited to stay with her friends in their home just before her son Harry’s wedding. This meant Carly could return home refreshed and able to cope with an over-the-top Jewish wedding as the mother of the groom. She had borrowed her friend Barbara’s second wedding dress. A wonderful deep maroon red fitted dress with a sweetheart neckline and a little bolero jacket to cover her arms. Initially she was worried that others would find it reprehensible that she was wearing a second-hand outfit. But when her daughter Boo was open about borrowing her aunt’s dress, Carly was truthful. Even Carly surprised herself about how worried she was about protocol. In the end she had black henna tattoos all the way down both arms and hands. That was hardly following Jewish wedding etiquette.

So, Carly was delighted she was invited to Mexico to stay with her friends just before this momentous occasion. Their house was unquestionably gorgeous and full of the most amazing artwork, as well as cats. Carly is a feline obsessive so that ticked that box. For most of her time there, Norbert was away in New York. Just as well really. Carly finds him a bit on the tricky side. Rather alpha male with significant road rage as well as being very demanding of waiters. Oh, and he smokes. Interestingly, on her return trip a year later, she was much better able to cope with Norbert and enjoy his company. Smoking has become less of an issue. Moving to Israel had sorted out her knee jerk hatred of cigarettes. Yes, Carly did still hate smoking and all the things it did to smokers and passively to those around them. But lots of her friends in Jaffa smoke, and so Carly has had to capitulate a little bit nowadays. Also, she learnt to handle Norbert better. They both worked out a way of being that felt more mutually respectful, and he taught Carly how to improve her breaststroke and how to stretch out her back on a large ball. And Carly now felt she could challenge and question him on a range of topics. 

Whether Norbert is around or not, the afternoons and evenings always revolved around margaritas. Classical ones and others with mezcal. Followed by a sumptuous dinner. Often at a nearby restaurant with white peacocks. “My goodness, what a racket those birds make”, considers Carly. They are so elegant and refined. But they sound like demented fishwives when they get going.

And when it was just Joanne and Carly, they were like ships passing in the night. Carly is very much an early bird, up from 05:30. Joanne is a night owl. So, they would meet around midday. Carly would have had her coffee, breakfast, morning yoga, run and swim as well as her standard game of card patience and making five dreamcatchers on paper before a mussy-headed Joanne surfaced. At night they swapped roles and Carly was in bed by 9:30pm.

On both trips to stay with her friends, Carly felt that she should shield them from her over-exuberant personality by going off for a few days. In 2023, she went to stay with her friend Barbara’s stepdaughter Tina in the heart of Mexico City. They rushed around craft bazaars and had some sensational meals in food markets. Carly was exposed to all manner of new food. A Mexican smorgasbord of deliciousness. Tina was delightful and loved showing Carly around, even taking her to the airport. What a totally lovely human being. 

In 2024, Carly took a four-day trip to Puebla. Now this is a very nice city. Lots of hand painted, colourful tiles adorned all the buildings, and most of the roads in the historic centre were cobbled and numbered like Manhattan. Odd numbers east and west, even numbers north and south. She continued with her dreamcatcher pictures and went to all the museums, galleries and churches tourists are supposed to visit. And then one afternoon she was drawn into a makeup shop. She isn’t sure why. She was fiddling about looking for purple cosmetics. And then it came to her. She loved imprisoning items onto 300gm white paper with embroidery thread. Maybe a better word in enclosing or enveloping. She did have the card she needed with her but not the thread or the needles. So off she went and found one of the many old-fashioned shops where the merchandise is sold by willing assistants who write chits for you to pay at the separate cashier counter. It reminded her of the butcher she went to as a child or the bookshop Foyles in Tottenham Court Road, London. As long as the cosmetics were purple, she could justify purchasing them. Purple is Carly’s colour, and she finds having a go-to colour immensely uplifting and freeing so she can be truly creative. It is wonderful just to look for items in one colour. It speeds up choosing by leaps and bounds.

In the end she did 29 of these artworks. She found lipsticks, hair extensions, false nails, mascara, nail varnish, eyelash curlers, temporary tattoos, facial jewels, eye powder and applicators as well as nails files, scissors, and nail clippers. She called this project ‘Cosmetic Imprisonment – The Plight of Women?’ It had to have a question mark at the end. Are women entombed by wearing make-up? Also, don’t a lot of men wear it now too? Maybe not quite as much as all the male contestants on one of her favourite competitive TV shows Glow-Up. But still, she knows plenty of men who wear mascara and paint their nails. And why not?

Whilst in Puebla she found out her beloved niece and her wife had had a baby. Carly was super excited and managed to find an intricately hand-embroidered pink felt dog for the baby. Carly aptly named him Carlos. She didn’t feel there was anything wrong with giving this dog her male counterpart’s name. Neither did the baby’s mothers. And boy did Carlos go on some adventures. Mostly running around to get all the necessary ingredients for a margarita. Well, that was whilst he was in Mexico. Which included being photographed all over the artwork back in Joanne and Norbert’s house. And amongst the limes in the supermarket much to Joanne’s embarrassment. 

In London, Carlos was shlepped all over the place. On the tube, overground and buses, up and down stairs and escalators and even to the baby show in the O2 centre. That was after going to John Lewis on Oxford Street, for a shopping spree. Since he’s been with the baby, he has been on trips to the park and even made it to Brighton. And then Carly took him to Padua, Limoges and Oslo. He is a very well travelled-boy…

Wow. Carly has such very fond memories of Mexico. She can’t wait to return!

Carly has a prickly relationship with Israeli bureaucracy. But then, so do most Israelis. She isn’t the only one to get mad and frustrated by the ups and downs of forms, government organisations, utilities, and yet more forms. It seems to be a leftover from the British Mandate. It just doesn’t make sense. Israel is leaps and bounds ahead on the ‘technology front’ but despite this, it is a country beset by fear of risk and uncertainty. She muses about Malachi, the person who runs the clinic where she works. He has lots of insurance policies in place. Even for third party events; the old ‘slipping on the banana skin on the floor’ issue as well as medical malpractice cover. He even pays an extra several 1,000 shekels to an independent insurance agency to check that these policies are compliant. It feels like everyone is behaving like owls and swivelling their heads to every degree possible to make sure they are ‘covered’.

Carly has never amassed so many pieces of paper for years. Everyone and their dog need a signature in triplicate and endless texts of one-time passwords. Well, thank goodness for google translate – actually most of the time. It does sometimes make a right old hash out of translating so that Carly is not just none-the-wiser but sometimes much worse off. Carly has had such a problem with bureaucracy since her move to live in Israel, that she has allowed herself to only deal with one issue per day. This is a much better way to look after herself. Otherwise, she might fall off the deep end into a mire of pity, sadness, and incredulity that she ever bothered to live there.

It didn’t start when she arrived in the country as a new immigrant. No, no, no! Way before. There were a number of meetings and of course more forms to fill in to sort out her rights and benefits before leaving London. Obviously made harder by bringing in her lovable mutt Talulah. The usual things like her birth certificate, a copy of her UK passport as well as a police-check to see if she had criminal tendencies, was dodgy in any way or a tax evader. And a letter from her rabbi confirming she is Jewish. Nonetheless, what Carly couldn’t fathom was why every single form needed her father’s name. Never, ever her mother’s. For heaven’s sake, Carly was 58 when she came. She is lucky to have both parents alive, but they are old-ish and what on earth do they have to do with her becoming an Israeli? And as she knows from when she did genetic research 10% of fathers aren’t actually ‘the real’ fathers. Really, they should ask for her mother’s name. Best not discuss that with Mum and Dad, deliberates Carly.

And then there were some apostilled documents that had to be additionally countersigned by a solicitor that she was divorced. The expenses were racking up. And eventually she had the green light. She was off to Israel to live and to become an Israeli. Finally, she was making Aliyah. Whoo-bloody-hoo.

There were some bits of Israeli bureaucracy that really did work. When she arrived, she was expected, greeted, given a landing card, some 2,500 shekels in cash and an Israeli sim card. A man whisked her through the airport to help her collect her bags and find Talulah. He asked who the dog crate belonged to. Carly told him ‘The airport’ but neglected to tell him it was London Heathrow, not Ben-Gurion, Tel Aviv. Hey, she pondered to herself, she is sure someone would make good use of it. For sure it was enormous and would not fit in the car.

Talulah was on a one-way ticket. Carly may go back and forth on aeroplanes here, there and everywhere but sorry, old girl, you’re staying in Israel, Talulah. Maybe if she could persuade the airport authorities that Talulah was a therapy dog for her anxiety, then Talulah could come on the plane and not be in the hold. Nevertheless, everyone who knows Carly is very clear. Anxiety isn’t really a Carly problem. It is actively banished. It seems odd that Carly spends most of her time with children with anxiety parading as medical problems such as headaches, tummy aches, tremors and nausea. Carly wonders how as a paediatrician, she can be empathetic to the plight of overwhelming social anxiety in children. But she is there to make diagnoses. The parents can then do the rest…

Carly was collected with her dog and bags by her brother, Mickey the fish and daughter, Boo. They were waving an Israeli flag that her friend Galina had bedecked with green jewels and spirally purple lines. They went to stay in his place as her shipment was stuck in the Ashkelon docks until she could send over her landing card. She was delighted it was in the country and the shipments hadn’t been subject to a pirate attack. She had heard of these, and she was excited to be reunited with her stuff soon. She had said goodbye to it six weeks previously and had lived frugally with only her black and white clothes to wear, a minimal amount of cutlery and crockery. She had split her double bed in half with her daughter Boo in Walthamstow so they each had a single one for a few weeks. She felt a bit like King Solomon who had been allowed his way by cutting a baby in half. 

 Carly does like to get on with things. And even though everyone countenanced her against going nearby to her brother’s house to get her identity card, did she listen? Heck no! She bumbled her way in without an appointment, ran around the corner to a photo booth where they only spoke Russian but successfully came out with her ID card. Whoo-hoo. First step done. It was, of course, registered to the wrong address, so she had to go to another government office with proof of where she lived to get the correct address. The problem there was that when you own a property the land registry department gives you a plot number and not an actual street address. So unnecessarily byzantine…

The bank was also an issue. She had to collect her credit card in person as her status had changed. The woman told her three times consecutively that it was not in a pile of them. But Carly had been told to be insistent and, sure enough, it was eventually found. For some bizarre reason, despite having plenty of shekels in her bank account, the card limit was miniscule. It only covered a bit of pet food, and some coffees. Carly was forever petitioning her banker (the long-suffering Gilad) to increase the limit which is now at an all-time high. 

However, the account has now been drained by Carly’s ferocious spending and current lack of patients to see in Israel to bring in income. Not helped by the huge outlay just to be able to see patients such as employing Veronique the bookkeeper, Matthew the tax accountant, malpractice and third-party insurance (seems the clinic covers the banana skin scenario but not the if Carly gets dizzy and drops a baby one) and fees to the lawyer Sam to get the medical licence in the first place. Carly has seen a sum total of two children in two months despite opening up 30 slots a week. Everyone informs her she must be patient. But this just isn’t Carly…

 Besides getting her medical licence which included a trip to Jerusalem to collect it as she doesn’t receive her post, she also had to apply for her driving licence. When she turned up at some back-of-beyond-office the clerk asked her if she wanted to drive a truck. Because she was in the wrong office for this. No, said Carly, who’d waited months for this appointment and had had her vision checked specially for this. She only wanted to drive a car. Well, said the clerk, Carly would have to go away, and start all over again. Including having another eyesight test. But by now Carly knew that you don’t give up that easily. She asked if there was another way? The clerk said she should see a man outside who might help her. He didn’t speak English, and her Hebrew was rudimentary but between them she filled in the right form, re-presented the now correct form to the clerk, who rolled her eyes, said the eyesight test should suffice and went to the printer and gave the paper licence to Carly. What a palaver…

 There are some institutions that do work really well. Like the Tel Aviv municipality. Carly sent them a message to show them a diseased tree outside her property and within eight hours it was gone. A replacement took a bit longer. She signed up for their app. This meant she could find out about all sorts of workshops and get cheap sunbeds on the beach. Then she looked down at the form which was pleasingly electronic this time. She found that, not only did she have a ‘Digi-Tel’ card for Tel Aviv residents with her name on it, but also, she had a ‘Digi-Dog’ card for her dog with Talulah’s name on it. It felt a bit like a Big Brother moment until she remembered all dogs must be registered with the municipality and her vet practice had kindly done that for her. Something completely joined up for once.

The worst agency in Israel is known to be the post office. Carly realised after a few months that she never received any mail. In fact, neither did any of her neighbours. The only way round this seemed to be to get a PO Box. This required a huge amount of effort but there was always another customer in the post office to guide her through it and tell her that she mustn’t cry, and the post office is well known to be truly dreadful. She is only a bit upset as her PO Box isn’t a prime number. But she thinks this is another battle not worth fighting.

But people come together over all these bureaucratic nightmares so that Carly can easily see why Israel is one of the happiest countries in the world. Only after Scandinavia and those countries are just too cold. All these ‘happy countries’ tend to do very well in the Eurovision Song Contest too. Although why Israel is included in this iconic European singing competition is rather bizarre. But at least Israel is quite near Europe, unlike Australia. How ridiculous, thinks Carly. 

Just like I took my kids skiing (Betsy and Toby with Joshua), I suggested I take Harry, Gemma and Luna away. We chose Akko as I like it and we could easily travel up by train. We stayed in a fabulous apartment (part of the Arabesque Hotel Group) and I made all the clothes and weapons for crusader Barbie before we left. I used metallic thread to look like chainmail. I didn’t want her to wear a cross so did a spiral which I smudged. The shield was a metal lid that I used my bradawl to make 8 holes and threaded purple elastic and covered the centre with red chenille. I made her sword from coffee stirrers.

I based her on the anime picture and made her shoes from a cut up hair bobble. I used metallic ribbon for the top bit of her shoes.