How Time Goes Faster As You Get Older.blog

I spent some time in mid-August in both Hove and Hook. Whenever I could I hid myself away and made these 24 dreamcatcher montages using ink, metallic pens, paints, feathers, honesty petals, rose leaves, wooden flowers, butterflies and bugs, lavender, the die cut plastic from an old white Tatty Devine necklace that was beyond repair, nail varnish, puff paint, stick on jewels and butterflies, temporary tattoo transfers, leaves and mushroom stencils, embroidery thread and even some flesh from a damson plum – which one was that? (Clue – from Hook on 18/8/24)

When I was in York on my way back from Berwick-Upon-Tweed, I met my friend Paula and we went to a historic home and garden for lunch. The shop sold some small “Barbie-like” characters who were called Sassy, Kelly, Candice, Ginger, Lacy and Crystal. Obviously none were actually called Barbie and they held themselves in a rather bizarre position which looked like they were trying to make their breasts look even more enormous than they actually were. I decided it would be fun to position them with different medical equipment. Enjoy!

I was invited with two of my children to come to Sandbanks on a family holiday. I found Pez Barbie on the route down and my niece, Sabrina, informed me she is called Princess Peach. But never mind. She went all over the beach, around on the bus and ferry to Studland Bay. She had a huge amount of fun. Her pez sweets were a bit wet and salty at the end but who’s telling?!

I have become slightly obsessed with making paper dreamcatchers. Often the body is round and there are three or five hanging aspects which have “feathers” and something to weight them down. Often I use squares or other funny shapes for the body part and the weights can be a whole variety of objects. The “feathers” too. I usually glue but often embroider things on them. Once photographed they can be chosen by friends to keep. I like the fact that there is a range to choose from and I could never predict what people will like. For sure they like to have a choice. These 40 dreamcatchers were made in a four day period. They help me get my creative juices going for the day. I have used pens, pencils, ink, paint, nail varnish and puff paint. I have added buttons from Sarabeth and Phil, leaves and flowers from around Mallety, small purple, pink and white interconnecting bricks (plus-plus), a unicorn rubber I made into thin slices and wooden butterflies and bug painted purple.

The unicorns kept falling off so I caught them all additionally with embroidery thread.

Soon to be released – Carly loves train journeys!

So this time Carlos made it to France. I stayed in Mallety, near Limoges with the lovely and wonderful couple Fran and Phil and their assortment of 3 cats, 3 dogs and one tortoise. I eat wonderful food, drink gin and tonics and white wine but spend most of the day in the workshop. This time I made a bag from an old mumsy jacket, mended my bright orange silk evening bag from Accessorize, made 2 challah cloths (one for Betsy [nature] and one for Tania [beach huts]) – see my earlier blog on challah covers, and used the kantha machine to make new border for my bed using variegated purple and lilac thread. I also made 40 dreamcatchers on card – see the following blog!

Carlos went on a number of adventures around Mallety, mostly in Fran and Phil’s place with their animals and large amounts of stuff. A very photogenic and peaceful place.

Another post from Mallety coming very soon. 40 dreamcatchers!

  

Is Carly scary? Well now. That is a question. Clearly not the question. Also, this can hardly be The Question. That is more about the meaning of life and much more existential enquiries. But certainly, being scary, is something to consider. Carly has thought about whether this is a true statement of fact​, or a malicious fabrication over the years. To be honest, she hasn’t come to any sort of conclusion. The jury is out. Really this isn’t significant enough to go to a court and be heard by a judge. Mentioning juries is just a phrase or expression people use. Phew, thinks Carly. Got off that one. Whenever she hears a police siren, ​she is convinced they are out to catch her. No particular rhyme or reason. Just her guilty nature. Oh, and being naughty in general, for a considerable amount of time. 

  

So back to the question of whether Carly is scary. Well, a friend just phoned her. And Carly put that question to Agnes. Is she, Carly, scary? “In a word, yes” replied Agnes without hesitating or even drawing for breath. Agnes didn’t have any more to add on the subject. She wouldn’t have done very well on the Just-a-Minute radio quiz. But this wasn’t radio. This was real life. And Carly reflected on her friendship with her foxy silver haired divorcee friends. She fondly remembers the last day they all met. Gosh​, that was a memorable day. It was the last night Carly spent in her marital home. The day before the house was sold and she went to India on her four-month sabbatical. Earlier in that day, she had gone to get her orthodox Jewish divorce known as a Gett. There was lots of law and writing on parchment and rabbis. For sure they weren’t scared of her. Maybe overwhelmed by her crying. It was relentless and torrential. However, on reflection, Carly was glad there was some sort of physical ceremony to mark the end of her long marriage. Not just an email pinging into her inbox to mark the Decree Nisi and Decree Absolute, as it did for her civil divorce. ​ 

Back to the evening with her friends: Agnes, Elspeth and Isla. It was held as a celebration of women together. They all worked in health, and they all had kids. Isla one, Elspeth two, Carly three and Agnes four. Carly liked the pattern in this. The theme for the food was cucumbers and figs. Carly was hoping the phallic imagery is not lost. They sat in the now bare kitchen​, as the packers had been there all day loading up their lorry to put Carly’s stuff in storage. They had left behind the garden table, four chairs and a few pieces of cutlery and crockery. It felt like a cathartic time to have a themed last meal. It was lovely and enjoyed by all. 

Carly was a bit overwhelmed the next day ​- what should she take to India or leave behind and put into storage. So, she filled up three huge bags to take with her to Delhi. Now that really was silly. But Carly felt she was invincible and could go on the tube and change lines to get to Heathrow. But however scary or determined Carly is​, she still only has two hands. At King’s Cross when changing tube lines, the third bag trundled down the escalator and nearly crushed someone who had the misfortune to get on the escalator after her. At that moment Carly was mortified and pretty scared herself. Certainly sheepish, and not the least bit scary. She asked for help on the platforms subsequently and eventually made it to the airport with all her luggage.  

  

Carly has found a real knack for moving away from answering the question that has been set. “Is Carly scary?” Maybe she just doesn’t want to face her demons? Maybe she is too scared herself to face the real truth. No. come on. That would be ludicrous. For anyone to be scared of themselves. Yes, mused Carly, you could be scared of what you might do if goaded​ or compelled to act in a dangerous or foolish way. But Carly is a middle-aged woman of at least some sense. She is pretty good at knowing when she is having her cage rattled. She can put in measures to stop herself. Like trying to be mindful or walk away. When she is with her new boyfriend (‘not-so-new’, he says!), David​, and feels something needs to be discussed​, she takes her lovingly created talking stick and launches forth on the topic bothering her. Whilst holding the stick, David has to be silent and actively listening to her. She relishes the ability to get all the issues out on the table without interruption or assumptions being made. When you are angry or upset about something, it can be hard to focus. And Carly is no different. So, she has put things in place to contain herself. So, this answers the question of whether Carly is scared of Carly. She is not.  

  

But are others scared of Carly? And if they are scared, is it a little or a lot? If it justified or not? Could she rank the level of how scared they are? Are they a little afraid of her​, or terrified? Maybe they are aghast, shaken or petrified? Or just anxious, fearful or ​… golly gosh. There she goes again. Wandering off from answering this question by providing alternative words for scary​ she found in the thesaurus. This is a clear and unadulterated delaying tactic. Once she gets to 1500 words, she can end this story. But she’s not there yet.  

So, who is scared of Carly? And why, when and where? Context is always important when asking tricky and possibly vague questions. Maybe she isn’t scary at all. She puts on an armour to protect with “’inner mushy Carly who cries all the time​”, with an external protective layer. A coat that says “keep out – trespassers will be prosecuted”. It is self-defence. Yes, thinks Carly. That is it. 

  

But sometimes Carly uses being scary at work to her advantage. She is a paediatrician and sees lots of children with functional symptoms. Sometimes they are called medically unexplained or psychosomatic. But either way these children often have headaches or abdominal pain because of anxiety. Carly explains this to the children using crying and laughing as analogy of physical, bodily things happening in response to an emotion or feeling. Then she asks them if they have their symptoms at that moment in time. And if they say they do, she says​: “Of course you do​”. Coming to see doctors is anxiety provoking. And in particular​, she herself is scary. She says this with a wry smile and a wink. Mostly these kids get it and smile. In fact, they nearly all do.  

But once Jen, a girl of 14, came to see her with tummy pain. Carly gave her and the family the spiel about how 85% of children with these symptoms have anxiety as the cause. The patient Jen was busy nodding away. The father was having none of it. He jumped to his feet and towered over Carly and his daughter. He gripped the back of the chair with his knuckles getting paler and paler. He spluttered out in fury that there was nothing in his daughter’s life to make her anxious. All the while​, Carly watched this and raised her eyebrows as if to say that it wasn’t his place to say this. Only the daughter caught this. Carly felt really sorry for Jen, her patient, but she had done all she could. In that situation, not only did Carly feel scared of this misguided and unreasonable father, but she was worried about the daughter, Jen. But Jen gave Carly a look to say that her father was overly protective, and he often behaved in this way. But Jen felt he was not at risk from him. All this from non-verbal communication! Amazing what humans can do with their looks. Interestingly, years later, Jen presented as an adult with headaches. She was only allowed to go to college close to home​, so her father was still very much in control. Carly was rather sad. She felt she had lost Jen’s battle to become truly independent. Harummmmmph thought Carly. Some battles you just cannot win​, however hard you try.  

  

Carly cycles back to the original question. Is Carly scary? Well maybe sometimes. But certainly, it doesn’t matter how much she rants and raves on at her kids. They aren’t the least bit scared of her. And that, she considers, is all that matters. Or her cats. They adore her. But maybe that is only cupboard love. The dogs are the same. What her pets really feel about Carly is tricky. But they aren’t scared. For sure.  

Booh.  

I love to make these dreamcatchers and photograph them before I give them away. This time I used buttons from Sarabeth, a rubber of a unicorn in pink that I sliced up, various pens, and paintbrushes using ink and puff paint as well as a box of wooden bugs and flowers that I painted purple. I used handmade paper using old fabrics made in India. It was able to get really wet as it is 300 gm in weight.

I love this museum. It is such fun and so inspiring. They have this special section to help accommodate those with disabilities.

Having fun with the toys!

There were a load of rubber families of 6 colours. Firstly they went and stood up in the wooden village.

I have this wonderful if rather tatty orange bag. I only brought red/orange/pink and purple clothes for my 2 months trip to the UK. I am looking forward to mending this bag. Especially the straps. Here the bag is to host the colourful rubber family members.

Finally, I set all these rubber families on a Victorian radiator. I tried to make the interplay between primary colours to make secondary colours as well as looking at opposites on the colour wheel.

Following an adventurous trip with Carlos around Puebla and London, Carlos came with me to a short but wonderful trip with my daughter Betsy to Padua before he returns as Rafi’s pink mascot.

And 2 short videos of Carlos enjoying himself.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/983859647

Carly is a bit ​’out there​’. She has been a paediatrician for a long time now. She does enjoy working with children, but she finds most babies rather dull. Give her an adolescent any day. At work Carly loves to muck around​. She can be idiotic​, but not stupid. Sometimes this can be a problem​, as of course not everyone shares her love of pranks. She feels that being silly can reduce the stress at work. It is done with grace and humour. Well​, so she believes. She will often start the ward round with everyone introducing themselves. They say their name, their role and what area they are working in for the day. This bit is compulsory. Then they can say their favourite colour​, or a game they liked playing as a child. This bit is optional. But most people join in and for sure it is a great ​’leveller​’ as the NHS is extremely hierarchical. Whether orange or blue are your favourite colours does not say anything about where you are on the pyramid. Maybe liking chartreuse could be perceived as pretentious. Carly does love this yellowy/lime green colour. She once had her front door painted this colour. Now it is purple. Anyway, Carly feels that by everyone revealing a bit about themselves they relax, and others learn a bit more about them. Sometimes Carly imposes a rule that you have to be original. Of course, this is easy for her as she starts off. Then she has to decide if they are going to go round clockwise or anticlockwise​, thus scaring the person to her right or left​, who will be last and might find it hard to think of an original answer. But most people enjoy this, and Carly is mindful to ensure that everyone knows that the last bit is voluntary.  

  

These are everyday quirkinesses that most staff don’t mind. However, there are other times when Carly really does go overboard. Looking back at them she wonders when she could have stopped herself from getting so utterly carried away. Maybe she couldn’t have, and for sure​, some do find it funny and really cannot see what all the fuss is about. Going forwards​, Carly needs to be more mindful when it comes to choosing whom she plays her shenanigans on. Yes, that is what is needed. She considers which are the best to illustrate her point and five incidents come to mind. She will go through them from shortest to longest title. This seems as good a way as any to show others her antics.  

  

Bra incident 

This was a very long time ago. Carly sort of winces when she remembers this one. Of all the incidents​, this is most well remembered. Even by those who weren’t working with Carly at the time. It is a bit like an “’annals of history’ incident. Carly remembers it very clearly. She is sure all the others who witnessed it do as well. She needed to speak to a member of the team. They were standing on the ward round outside a cubicle with the notes trolley between them. Carly sighs. Those were the days. Physical notes and writing entries by hand. Not all this running around using keyboards that are wipe clean with no keypads sticking up to make typing not only easy but actually possible. Instead, now you have to hammer away hard in order to make the letters appear on the screen. But at least there is no wasting of time reading illegible handwriting. Anyway. Carly needed to interrupt the ward round. Dianne, one of the rather officious senior nurses, pointed out gleefully that Carly was not bare below the elbows but also wearing a watch. Diane continued to reinforce this by telling Carly she was only allowed to wear short-sleeved shirts. Carly was incensed. She retorted whilst taking off her watch flamboyantly and rolling up her sleeves assertively​, “Well maybe I should take my bra off then?” Which she proceeded to do. Carly was an expert at doing this internally, so nothing was revealed apart from a bra coming down her sleeve at the end. Later on, she was hauled over the coals. Luckily this wasn’t in front of any patients. But Diane was furious. And Carly’s clinical lead, Jeremy, was exasperated. He told Carly off​, hoping that Carly would never do such things again. Carly sighed. She clearly wouldn’t do the bra removal incident a second time, but Carly was the sort of person who was amazing and was great a lot of the time​, but at the expense of very occasionally getting it woefully wrong. Ho hum. Carly would reflect deeply on this matter and resolve all the issues in her head. She surmised that whilst she was sorry and didn’t really want to infuriate staff she had to work with, taking off her bra like that is a skill that is useful. Although it isn’t one of those transferrable skills. Well​, probably not​…? ​ 

  

Wedgie episode 

During the pandemic all staff in her hospital took to wearing scrubs. This was not mandatory, and Carly was dismayed that so many people had to act like sheep and not wear interesting and individual clothes. One of the main issues is that scrubs are pretty much ​’one size doesn’t fit all​’. Consequently, people never really looked either comfortable or professional. So, Carly only wore them the few times she did shifts on the adult Intensive Care Unit. She thought the wearing of scrubs was just plain lazy. Fellow healthcare professionals couldn’t be bothered to think creatively about what they were going to wear each day. So, they sloped into the hospital wearing clothes that could pass as pyjamas and changed out of them into scrubs as soon as they got into work. The additional problem was for the larger man. They would often have their pants showing​, especially when they bent over which happened commonly as children are small ​and babies even smaller. This meant Carly had had her fill of people wearing scrubs where their underpants showed. Did she really want to know that Dr X bought Calvin Klein underwear rather than Tommy Hilfiger? She would rather they saved their money and bought cheapo ones from M&S and spent the rest of their salaries on shirts and chinos. So, one day she told one of the men that if she found him again with his pants showing she would give him a wedgie. The whispering masses translated this as Carly had actually ​’wedgied​’ this member of staff which counts as assault. Carly had merely threatened him. But the officious ​’powers –that be’ used this as a way of getting very heavy with her. And, therefore, Carly cried. Which is a commonplace event. She wishes this didn’t happen so easily. But when you get to your mid-fifties and you are still a snivelling wreck every time someone so much as gives you a look, then this isn’t going to change.​ 

  

Knocking knee event 

At about the same time as the wedgie episode Carly was told off for another incident. This time it had actually happened. She was working with new staff whom she wanted to feel welcome. She stood behind one new member of staff and knocked her knees gently into the back of this person’s knees. They crumpled. Only a bit. Again, the murmuring anti-Carly staff accused her of flooring this person. This wasn’t true and although some staff thought these incidents were hilarious, the top brass felt it was important to haul Carly over the coals about this too. How she cried. For England. She looked like a toad. She had to hide away for at least an hour for her facial puffiness to settle. ​ 

  

Bra over scrubs affair 

This incident is one Carly remembers fondly. It was over a decade ago. It was meaningful as she didn’t get into trouble​, but it did make her realise that she needed to move on to the next stage in her career. She was asleep and her bleep went off telling her to get ​to the Emergency Department Resuscitation Cubicle as soon as possible. It was probably a child with a fever having a seizure, thought Carly. This was a common occurrence and usually by the time Carly arrived it had stopped. Carly was speedy enough, but common things are common and seizures usually abate quickly. Phew thought Carly. But you cannot predict that, so she rushed along and got her badge out to allow herself into the right door. As she looked down, she realised she had put her bra on the outsides of her clothes. Phew. She caught herself. What would those parents have thought? Or the other staff members. Not appropriate for the most senior member of the team. But Carly did realise that still running to crash calls in the middle of the night in your forties is beyond the call of duty. Time to move on! 

  

‘Sukey take it off again’ as a title for ​a burns lecture 

Carly often taught on a course about how to teach. One of her favourite slides was about choosing a good title for your teaching session to really encourage attendance and engagement. Carly prided herself on being original. But this time she got carried away. She knew the nursey rhyme ‘Polly put the kettle on’ with the second line ‘and Sukey take it off again’. She was giving a lecture about burns and scalds. But really the jump was too enormous for those coming to the teaching session to work out what on earth was going on. The goal had to be clarity. Not a ​’guess what is inside my head​?!’ 

  

There are more examples, but these are the most illustrative and some have gone down in the annals of history as examples of ​Carly’s ‘out-there’ behaviour. Part of Carly is embarrassed but for the most part she is proud of who she is. Mostly…..