Carly loves to recall to anyone who will listen how she came to be Tova’s friend. As Israeli bureaucracy is so dire, Carly will only set herself the task of dealing with one issue involving forms or government offices a day. Otherwise, she might well top herself. And having got to 60 and being relatively healthy and financially secure, that seems like a shame. So instead, she limits herself to doing one dire thing every day. There is always the morning walk around Park Midron with her dog Talulah listening to podcasts. Her favourite ones are true crime. She thinks she should add other genres to this list. But it only extends to cults which often end with some horrific incident. So, back to true crime again. So, she is better off saying that she only listens to this true-crime genre. And, as podcasts are a way for her to learn and be curious about the world, this limitation will have to suffice. Anyway. Back to officialdom. One day, Carly ventures to the post office which is well known for probably being the most dire of all Israeli institutions. As predicted, she came out crying and planned to hot foot it back home. On the way, she passed a curiously named coffee shop in the Greek Market. She didn’t know what TFWC stood for. Most people, and especially those with dyslexia, think it stands for “What the Fuck Coffee”. But that means they have switched around the letters. The owner, Lior, told her it was the abbreviation of The Fourth Wave Coffee. In fact, Carly went to a lecture with Lev all about coffee, so she knows exactly what it is referring to!
First wave – instant like Nescafé
Second wave – places like Costa and Starbucks
Third wave – the independent places which have a Scandinavian feel
Fourth wave – like the third wave but with coffee from a single grower – a bit like malt whisky.
In she stumbled, feeling very forlorn and immediately got chatting to Tova, an American. They became fast friends. Carly asked her new friend what hobbies she had, hoping it would include knitting and crochet, but surprisingly Tova told her about stand-up paddleboarding. So, Carly signed up and regularly falls off but is getting steadily better. Actually, she is just getting less worse! The healthcare organisation that Carly is a member of encourages sports activities to promote healthy living. They heavily subsidise Carly’s new pastime, making it a real draw for Carly. Very recently, Carly took Talulah in her pink mermaid doggy buoyancy aid to accompany her paddleboarding. And Tova insisted on taking Talulah on her board. This worked for everyone. When they were doing Shavasana (a restful yoga pose) – lying down on the board with toes and fingers dipping in the sea – Talulah clambered back on Carly’s board and laid down with her head on her Carly’s leg. Very cute and super relaxing. Until she heard her name being boomed out by a man in the sea. Maybe he was calling another Carly. But when she didn’t get up from her quiet reverie, he shouted Carly Simons repeatedly. So, she knew he meant her. She often breaks into song (Carly Simons’ “You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you”). And Carly stood up too fast onto the paddleboard. And guess what – she and Talulah fell straight into the sea! He was a good friend’s husband whose name was unpronounceable, so she replied laughing between gulps of water – “Oh hello, Richard” which wasn’t his name at all. Like hers wasn’t Carly Simons! Touché!!!
Carly is delighted that Tova introduced her to paddleboarding. She goes once a week if she can and has met a number of other lovely people. She particularly likes the high-energy owner Lindy-Lu. They vibe nicely with each other, and Lindy-Lu has often commented on how helpful Carly is with offering to push the wagon cart with the boards and paddles. It is nice, thinks Carly, to be commended on being kind. In the winter, Carly will often borrow a half-wetsuit. These garments always seem to come with ridiculous inserts to enlarge/enhance one’s breasts. For sure, Carly doesn’t need them. She has enormous (although previously even more so) bazookas. With Lindy-Lu’s permission, she removed the inserts and took them home. “Hmmmmmmmmmm,” thinks Carly, they look like kippot (skull caps). And then Carly got carried away and decorated them with puff paints, so they looked like swirls of fire. Before returning them as a gift to Lindy-Lu, who has two boys, she took them all over Jaffa and photographed them in weird and wonderful places. Ezeh Kef (what fun in Hebrew). Carly is very keen to demonstrate she does know some Hebrew. But it is limited to nouns and verbs connected to her dog.
When not paddleboarding together, Tova and Carly go off on adventures. They spent one Sunday morning in Shuk Hatikvah. This is a market in a rather downtown part of Tel Aviv near the train station. Everything was really fresh and super cheap. Carly ran around photographing one of her Barbies and then bought lots of meat. She was surprised that liver was cheaper than stomach. And then she found out what she thought was stomach was in fact heart. Jo-Jo, Boo’s boyfriend, pointed this out when they went out for a gourmet barbeque meal. He was rather surprised as the “stomach” organ had 4 vessels coming off it and Carly had studied medicine, admittedly a while back. The chicken’s heart was just a bit smaller and still had four chambers. Silly Carly.
Tova and Carly have a lovely Friday Night Dinner (FND) ritual. Carly has always been keen to sort out FND invites way ahead of time. This is not how it is done in Israel, where invitations are all rather last minute. But Carly cannot live with this fear of rejection and ensuing loneliness. She organises FNDs in advance and must reject any that come in on the day! Carly and Tova probably have FNDs together once a month. Always at Tova’s. This is what happens. Sometimes, especially in the winter, Carly goes to Shul in Noga. Only for 20 minutes. To sing and dance. Once the Rabbi gets up to give his sermon, she beats a hasty retreat. Tova and Carly head off for a glass of wine each and a small plate of cheese at Hagefen Wine Courtyard. They return to cook soup. And use the napkins that Carly made for Tova – white with purple handblocked elephants. Carly loves this special routine they have. It is intimate and cosy and there are always a lot laughs. And don’t worry. Tova does come to Carly for FNDs but usually when lots of people are coming and it is more of a potluck situation.
For a long while, Tova has signed up to a weekly delivery of an organic veggie box. But it became overwhelming, so she asked Carly to split it. Tova deals with the Hebrew website and Carly comes over to collect what she rather fancies and knows what Tova doesn’t want. Carly has learnt to be creative with some of the veggies. She makes beetroot into cake, dices kohlrabi with lemon, olive oil, salt and pepper as a healthy snack and grills cabbage in a variety of different ways. When faced with too many veggies, she puts them in Talulah’s food. But she really cannot feed her hound cucumber or lettuce. So, she has experimented and offered all manner of things for Tova to try. Tzatziki has worked well for excess cucumber, although there were complaints that it was too garlicky. “How can this ever be,” muses Carly? Another was cucumber soup. Carly doesn’t really have a very discerning palate and, even though it was an outright no from Tova, Carly thought it was ok. Perhaps a bit meh. Grilled lettuce was sort of successful but probably only as a one-off. The Indian spicy lettuce soup fared better. Tova cannot complain that at least Carly is trying to be original with these veggies. But still the box was overwhelming. They decided to switch over to a fruit box once a month. This had some very tough oranges, boring apples, weird loquats and avocados. Now Carly knows that tomatoes are fruit, although not to be included in a fruit salad, but avocados? She really isn’t sure why they are in this box. Carly has a cousin who absolutely, totally loves avocados. For his 50th birthday, his wife cooked him a meal where every dish, in every course, was based on avocado, including ice-cream for dessert. But still avocado? Can it be designated as a fruit? “Uh uh,” thinks Carly as she shakes her head. Still, Tova is overwhelmed by all these veggies. Going forward, Carly will come over and cut everything exactly in half. And they will see how this new scheme goes. If unsuccessful, the veggie box scheme will be consigned to the history books. Pooooooooof.
As for payment. Carly transfers Tova the money on the ‘Bit’ app. But not the actual correct amount. As Carly feels sorry for prime numbers, she only transfers amounts that are slightly above or below the correct figure. And tries hard to put in a silly word in the subject line to make Tova giggle. She is not sure if Tova does giggle at this as she isn’t with her when she sees the payment. But, for certain, Tova is one of the cleverest people Carly has met. Especially for an American!
