Carly has been a passionate knitter for decades. She was taught, aged 11, by a school friend who had a house in Edgware, London with a green roof. Carly used to think that the roof was mouldy but in fact it was allegedly a design feature. ‘Allegedly’ is one of her relic words left over from her marriage to a lawyer, a marriage that lasted for nearly as long as her knitting journey. She thinks you use the unnecessary and over-the-top word ‘allegedly’ just to make a point.
Well, the green tiles were just one thing she didn’t like about the roof. It also had very convex tiles. Pointy, sticky up ones. Now convex is a word open to interpretation. It depends on where you are viewing the roof from. For these tiles and this use of the word, Carly is imagining the tiles from the sky. The only way she can remember the difference between convex and concave, is that a cave is something you can wander into. Having concave tiles on the roof would be downright foolish as the water would collect in them, causing the tiles to disintegrate. “Ah ha”, mused Carly, then the colour and shape of all the roof tiles could be changed. She isn’t really sure what she has against these pointy, green tiles. Enough veering off topic and time to move back to the subject of knitting.
Carly has knitted everywhere and anywhere. She has been creative with making up her own patterns but mostly follows others. She loves to go on knitting holidays. Then, when you run out of things to say, there is always yarn and needles and patterns to discuss. And also, fellow knitters don’t take umbrage when you get to a tricky part of the pattern and need to desist from talking to concentrate on the job in hand. Carly has made some of her best friends on knitting holidays. Knitting is something to do together and she sees it as a gateway to having lots of fruitful and inspiring conversations. Sometimes these knitting holidays were retreats where you enjoyed your own projects whilst chatting. And there were other holidays, which were in essence workshops, where you are made to do this, that and the other. These can be good for getting Carly out of her comfort zone. She once designed a most fabulous blue coat. It was a 3D patchwork design and was going to be super complicated to knit. Carly loved sourcing yarn for this project, by far the best bit. But the whole venture of the actual make became fraught with feelings of guilt and avoidance. “Carly,” she said to herself. This is a hobby. And so, you can say “No”. Carly felt very relieved when she did just that. The blue yarn could be salvaged for other, smaller, and less onerous knitting projects.
The thing about knitting holidays is they could be very cliquey. Carly supposes if she were in the gang, then that would be fine! But she wasn’t always and there seemed to be a hierarchy on who was ‘in’ and who was ‘out’. It extended to which members were able to sit on the best and most comfortable seats. She loved the people who ran one such holiday near Poitiers in France. It was in a sumptuous chateau. The food was excellent and the booze plentiful. And, she liked some of the punters. And because a lot of these ladies knitted all day, every day, some – well most actually, were rather on the large side. Which meant getting the best seats was partly a necessity so you could actually fit on the sofa or chair.
Carly had been doing these trips to the French chateau for a while and decided it was time to broaden her horizons. She found out about a ‘Knit for World Harmony’ holiday in Jaipur, India. Oh, my goodness. Carly just loved India, and this would be her sixth trip. She would not be fazed by cows wandering about on the streets or spicy food and here was a chance to combine her hobby whilst doing some charitable work in a place she loved. It was to be workshop style, led by a famous London boho knitting designer. Carly was sooooooo excited.
Before she fully committed, she discussed it with her good friend Trudy from Mull in Scotland, who’d been the previous year. Trudy warned her. Carly would NOT like Lady Hoojumiflick who had set up the charity and ran these holidays and had been made a peer because of her charitable work. But Carly isn’t very good at taking advice and didn’t heed what Trudy had bravely suggested. Trudy knew that Carly wasn’t really going to listen, as Carly was so excited to be returning to India and felt she could handle every sort of person. Carly ended up flying on the same plane as Lady Hoojumiflick, who was of course flying out first class, and made it her business to navigate her way into cattle class to introduce herself to Carly. “I am Lady Hoojumiflick”, she said as she proffered her hand like someone in the royal family. “I presume you are Carly?”, who nodded and said she was indeed “Professor Fertleman”. “If we are going to be having a war of titles”, thought Carly, “I will give it my all”. Not a particularly auspicious start.
They were all staying at the Amber Hotel in Jaipur, Rajasthan. It was a beautiful establishment on the outskirts of the city. It had sumptuous gardens where Carly could do her yoga. She found herself staying in one of the original rooms with inlaid mirrors and dark and heavy furniture. Carly was in heaven. Well, for the time being…
There were 15 women knitters, and a few had brought their husbands who liked birdwatching. All the couples had been before and loved staying at the wonderful Amber Hotel with its easy access to amazing lakes and wildlife sanctuaries. These couples were part of Lady Hoojumiflick’s in-crowd. She was patronising to staff in the extreme and would beckon them over by waving her arms wildly like a despotic ruler, whilst shouting rudely at them. She would eat at a separate table in the middle of the lawn and invite only her special cronies to eat with her. She had a white table with a lace tablecloth, comfy chairs and a parasol. The rest of the holiday participants were cast aside to a very functional and bland dining area. Carly tried to approach her once during a meal, but Lady Hoojumiflick waved her away, tutting.
All the other women, those in couples and those not, were lovely. The birdie husbands were too. Carly had a blast whilst she was with them. The teacher was sublimely patient with everyone. Carly was most impressed. Lady Hoojumiflick certainly knew how to organise a wonderful holiday. “Thank you,” mumbled a moderately grateful Carly. She learnt a whole new slew of stitches. And kept copious notes and stuck all her samples in a notebook which was beyond fat at the end. To mirror the size of some of the knitters! Lady Hoojumiflick was far too busy with her charitable ventures to join the motley crew of knitters. Phew. Carly was greatly relieved.
Carly was a bit dismayed with the food. It was fresh and delicious but for Indian food rather dull. She found out why. Lady Hoojumiflick ensured all the food was to her liking – very plain. But when her husband came out later, craving spicier food, she allowed the kitchen to make minuscule, bespoke portions of spicy food just for him. If there were any titbits left over, then, and only then, was Carly allowed to graze on them. Luckily for Carly, all the men, unlike their wives, were skinny, so Carly was usually successful in her quest for real Indian, spicy food.
Carly did some fabulous hiking expeditions with the more fit (slimmer) members of the group to various shrines and temples. One afternoon, Carly went to a sand museum, shell museum, railway museum and wax museum. As this holiday promoted itself as part of a charity, there was the inevitable trip to a couple of orphanages. It was billed as optional. But social pressure made it clear that they were NOT to be missed, so Carly steeled herself for the cringy visits. At each school, there was a dancing display, tour of the facilities as well as overwhelming and prolonged bouts of obsequiousness to Lady Hoojumiflick. But one of the schools had an excellent ethos. There was a very active pupil-led school council. They had learnt how to manage their finances and where savings could be made. Carly had, for a long time, thought that schools in the UK didn’t teach pupils how to live in the real world. How to manage your money, write a CV, even basic things like cooking and unblocking a drain would be far more useful than algebra and Latin declensions.
Not long before Carly went on her ‘Knit for World Harmony’ holiday she decided to have a nose piercing. In her left nostril. Carly has done a survey. Nose piercings are nearly always in the left nostril. Carly didn’t have an explanation. It was something she had noted. And she was able to quickly clarify this by observing all the left nostril piercings in girls and women in Jaipur as most had them.
She got the piercing done with her daughter Boo in Camden, London. Every time she twizzled it about, her nose ran. Whilst at the Amber Hotel, under instructions from her daughter, who had had them before, that it should now have made a permanent channel, she could change it to a smaller and prettier stud. So, she took it out. But oh no. She couldn’t replace it. Carly was so worried about it closing, she temporarily inserted a thin tapestry needle she had to hand and then switched it to an earring. But she only had long, dangly earrings which reached her mouth. Before leaving the Amber Hotel, to buy some studs she had to sacrifice the earring, by snipping it. Eventually she found some studs to insert. Phew! Disaster averted…
Carly looks back on her ‘Knit for World Harmony’ holiday with a whole mixture of feelings. She came to the conclusion that when people are brave enough to challenge you, like Trudy did, she, Carly should listen to them…
