Well, actually, it is mutual. Boofy is her father’s slightly older first cousin. He must have been a loveable rogue right from the outset. His real name is Norman, but he was a great, big, round ‘buffale’ of a child and always known to family and friends as Boofy. Carly suspected that when he was working, he didn’t use this nickname. The problem with nicknames is that you have to explain them to people. Carly currently works with a girl named Mouse. Her real name is Alice and she loves Carly’s puppy Talulah. Mouse has told Carly how she got her name, but Carly isn’t very good at trivia, so she remembers to call her Mouse, as that’s what she prefers. When sending her an email, though, Carly needs to remember her real name. What Carly does know is that Mouse is that she is anything but mousey. She is strong and firm and wonderful. She considers her own current nickname: Carly. Her daughter Boo isn’t into calling her Mum, Mummy or Mother. Rather she uses her given name and then by a series of jumps, changes it. At the moment, Boo calls her Carl Jung. When Carly changed her name, Boo would call her ‘Big Carl’ and at that time this was the name of the largest crane in the UK. It might then turn into ‘Nig Narl’ which rhymes.
Boo liked to confuse people by switching genders. She called Gus (short for Asparagus) their male cat Miss Kitty and this was very confusing. Talulah has now morphed into Sue Ellen like a name from Dallas. At least it’s the same gender. Talulah became Lulah, then Lula, then Luellen and finally Sue Ellen. Carly isn’t thrilled about this. Talulah’s name was chosen by consensus. She worries the poor dog might have a complex, not to mention fear of becoming a character on an American soap. As always with these stories, Carly runs off on a trajectory unrelated to the title. Back to Boofy…
Boofy grew up in England and still keeps in touch with some of his school friends. Boofy is in his 90s so not all of them are alive. But Carly is always impressed that people can hold onto friends for so very long. She does have a few friends she sees from primary school when she was mostly Fert. So, she does get it. After having two daughters, Boofy moved with his family to Israel. There, he practised as an English lawyer, representing some potentially dodgy characters. He and his wife Anne went on to have one more daughter and a son. They had a large flat in Ramat Gan, near to Tel Aviv and whenever Carly went to Israel, Boofy was the person she would always stay with. Even her children have stayed with him and so have all her siblings. It was an ‘open house’ in that Ramat Gan flat. Boofy was always a live and let live person and wouldn’t mind how religious you were as long as you were respectful. There were a whole load of waifs and strays who would stay in Ramat Gan when things weren’t in a good place personally for these guests. That was Boofy’s strength. He was non-judgmental and welcoming.
One time, Boofy was in England with his 12-year-old identical twin granddaughters. Carly decided a nice English adventure would be just the ticket. So Boofy, the twins, her son Haz and his friend Edgar set off for the journey of a lifetime. No! This, as usual with Carly, is a ridiculous exaggeration. They went to Mountfitchet Castle near Audley End in Cambridgeshire. It was a very odd place, not owned by English Heritage or the National Trust, – Carly was a member of both bodies at this time. These memberships, along with lots of art galleries and other organisations that Carly loved to support such as Art Fund, were all kiboshed during the divorce. Carly really had to reign in her spend and these felt rather expensive and frivolous. Anyway, at this castle, with her motley crew of children and adults, she had to pay full whack. But it was worth it for sure. Besides a homestead with sheep and some other forgettable farm animals(goats/ducks/chickens) there was a whole castle to explore. It was set up like Norman times in the midst of the winter. All the mannequins were covered head to toe in animal fat, leathers and furs, wool and fleece undertaking the sort of work that they would have done in the Middle Ages. Spinning and weaving, milling and cooking as well as drawing water from wells and tending to fires. The number of tedious jobs was endless. And it seemed quite smelly to be alive then. Certainly, these pretend people stank. Carly thoroughly enjoyed it, as did her party of kids and adults. She wonders if they still remember it as vividly as she does. The brown, greasy facial wrinkles haunt her like a recurring nightmare when she thinks back. But, it’s still better for her to be alive nowadays than it would have been back then.
Carly often wonders if now is the best time to be alive. She realises that people see Victorians or Georgians through rose-tinted spectacles. Of course, being rich and riding around on horses and having lots of tea parties and playing cards would be lovely. Certainly, it would get boring and on your nerves after a while. And for the vast majority of the population, you were hungry, cold, tired and tied to a repetitive job for most of your life. As a woman you could almost guarantee that most of your children would die. All that carrying around babies in your womb and still not being able to provide assurance they would be around to look after you in your later years. Carly has made it very clear to her own children. She does not want to be giving them any more money now. Their father can do that. But as she plans to live a long life, she will use her savings wisely and leave little for them in her will. Equally she does not want to be a financial burden on them. They have had all their education sorted out, bar a very small loan to pay back to the government. The rest they need to do for themselves. None of this Ma and Pa will buy you a car/house/horse etc. They must have their own drive and ambition. Spoon-feeding and helicoptering are well and truly over as they are all in their 20s.
Yet again. Carly’s pontificating and going off track. Whenever Carly is in Israel, she always sees Boofy. He is still driving in his 90s. And it is a crap old banger. They once ate somewhere and Boofy left the keys in the ignition for a few hours. No one saw fit to steal it. Carly thinks Boofy does that quite often to be an inverted snob and proud of his car being so crap, that no one is interested in it for themselves or to sell on. Boofy is full of stories of family and also so well-read, that there is never a dull moment. He is vicariously proud of his eldest daughter who has 10 children. Yes, that is a lot. But the fun fact is that she had them in order; girl/boy/girl/boy etc all the way down to that last boy. Carly tries to do the maths and work out the chances of this happening. Something like one in two to the power 10. Never mind…
But really Carly loves to sink into that abundant love and admiration Boofy has for her. It surrounds her and envelopes her but never suffocates her. That is quite something for someone else to get it just right. Once Carly needed to go to her old flat to retrieve some of her goods. This was not long after she had painfully separated from her husband Ades. Not only did Boofy offer to drive her there but also offered to accompany her to collect the bits and bobs and smooth the way.
When she got there Carly took a big bag. Most of this flat screamed Carly. Everything was lime green and fuchsia pink. She had either commissioned, designed or made most of the decorative items. But in the end Carly only took a few objects. A ‘clanger’ a friend had knitted, her sewing box and some wooden dolls based on her knitting friends who’d come over for a week of sun, sea and yarn a few years before. She looked sadly at an old man and woman. Carly had bought them to show Ades how they would grow old together. The woman was knitting, and the man was reading a paper with a small dog at his feet. She put them in her bag. Then she took them out. And left them there. He could look at those over the coming years. He wouldn’t throw them away. Carly knew that. He never could make decisions to do any clearing out. That was why he had an enormous ‘gimp’ cupboard in his new flat in London. To store more stuff than anyone could ever need.
Boofy also spoke uninvited at Carly and Ades’ wedding in 1991. He wasn’t the only one. Carly’s father spoke twice and her uncle once. Other people put flyers on the chairs about a left-wing Zionist organisation. Carly’s mother is still furious about that. But Boofy’s speech was rather risky. He decided to show off that he was cleverer than the rabbi. Oh dear. Embarrassing or what? Carly is much more furious that her father spoke twice and his brother once too. It is always the food and the speeches that people remember about weddings. Too many rubbish or risqué speeches. Or crap food. Carly remembers her brother’s wedding. If you ask anyone about his speech, he took the mickey out of their mother for being a snob and pretending she grew up in a posher neighbourhood than she did. Carly made a very important note to self not to do that when she spoke at her son’s wedding recently. All the speeches were great, as was the food. Phew, we all can learn.
During the pandemic Carly didn’t get to see Boofy for a few years. But he dialled in regularly to the zoom quiz her father did every Sunday. This was in lieu of the one he usually did at his synagogue with all his cronies in person. This quiz was the highlight of her father’s week. He spent most of the week preparing for it with dedication and this meant Carly’s parents managed lockdown with their own projects and not getting on each other’s nerves too much.
Carly is delighted to be moving to Israel soon and can then catch up regularly with Boofy. She does wonder what she will do without him. But he hasn’t given up the ghost yet. Not something to think about right now, Carly reassures herself!
