This was a title suggested by Carly’s then new(ish) boyfriend David during the middle of the Covid 19 lockdown. Probably to point out going forward when Carly was not always right. It was clearly tongue in cheek. Carly knows she isn’t always right. A shame because Carly would like to always be right. She is strong, speedy and gregarious. She is brave and often fearless. Carly is willing to break the rules. Even the rules which are probably there not to be broken. She feels they unnecessarily obstruct her, and Carly always feels she can pull out the mental health card if she is breaking some of these pandemic rules. And although this isn’t the title of this story, Carly being right and Carly breaking rules feel rather entwined. Carly surprised some of her friends recently by refusing to sign a document without the signatory being there. They felt that Carly rarely follows the rules about lockdown and bubbles and hugging. But Carly feels that if she is being asked to witness something, then, that is a rule to be followed. She realises that this flip, flap and flopping around the rules cannot only be tricky for others, but seemingly downright rebellious. It seems that her daughter - Boo – thinks that Carly is an anarchist. Boo has written three emails recently whilst at university, to Carly, about her observations of her peers. Carly feels that her own daughter is very funny and is rather horrified that she, Carly, cannot actually outwit Boo. Humour is very subjective after all. But still. This is very difficult for Carly who is supremely competitive. Here are the three emails. But no. Boo isn’t going to allow this to happen. For Carly to win that is. She will let Carly put them in this story.
Carly may always be right, but she certainly doesn’t always get her own way. Hurrrrrrumph sighs Carly. Very tedious. Carly wanted to include the entirety of all the emails from her daughter to quickly make up the word count of her stories to around 1,500, but Boo said no. She only allowed Carly to put in snippets. Carly does follow that rule. Breaking rules repeatedly with your own children is so very likely to come back to bite you in the backside, remonstrates Carly with herself.
Email snippet 1. During lockdown.
The university made it clear. Only students who don’t have the facilities to work at home may be able to go to the library. So those in the library right now must either be abused or anarchists. I consider myself the latter, something I must have inherited from my anti-lockdown mother.
Carly is quite pleased to be called an anarchist. She is unashamedly anti-lockdown. As an extreme extrovert, just talking to screens all day long is like picking open sores. This isn’t a good idea if you want to prevent keloid scars. These are the nasty, raised thick ones. But is she an anarchist? Hard to say. She’s actually not sure and it feels a bit overwhelming to not follow any rules. She proceeds to read the second snippet.
Email snippet 2
I’ve been musing about the café/study spaced named ‘Common Ground’. I think the university intended students to come here to settle their differences by reaching a common ground, over a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. I’m not sure this marketing would affect me, however, seeing as caffeine only makes me more argumentative.
Carly is so addicted to coffee that she has written a whole story about it. It almost makes her sympathetic to smokers who are also hooked on their own habit. Even though she detests smoking with a passion. She doesn’t even know how to physically smoke, which is undoubtedly the best way to avoid smoking! It is not a transferable skill of use. But does coffee make her argumentative? Hell no!
Email snipped 3
For days now, my housemates and I have been planning a cultural, themed night. I bought some Henna the other day, so we settled for Indian. My flatmate makes excellent food and is afforded the title “Head Chef”. But she put the plastic containers filled with Indian food, directly in the oven. I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you what happened. All I’ll say is that her title has since been removed.
Carly is particularly delighted to see that her sense of right and wrong has been passed on to her offspring. When people do stupid things, then they have to pay the price. Titles need to be earnt and not just be awarded willy-nilly. Carly has always felt she is right about this. There is never any way round things except hard graft. She feels people are always complaining about this and that. But they can change things. They are in charge of their destiny and for sure no one else can change this. It is all about having agency. Carly is absolutely sure she is right about this. And of course, to be an expert you need to have done 10,000 hours. Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, makes this argument watertight. The only things that Carly has done for 10,000 hours are sleeping, eating, knitting and doctoring. She is quite an expert at the toilet, as well. She marvels at her own bowel transit time. She is sure she wins this race easily. Beetroot from mouth to toilet takes a cool 19 minutes. Yippee. Funny how it happens to be one of two favourite prime numbers. And could she apply for entry into the next Guinness Book of Records?
The one person who, without any shadow of doubt, doesn’t think Carly is always right, is her daughter Boo. She has a long list of complaints. In fact, so do her sons, and of course her ex-husband, (otherwise, clearly, they would still be together!) Her children are ’super critical’. In the way that young people are nowadays, muses Carly. She would never have been able to say this to her parents. She wonders if she should? Nah she says. Too tricky for all that now.
As David was the person who suggested Carly write this story, he definitely needs to feature in it. And of course, he may not be so happy about this situation. David and Carly are in a new relationship, so Carly needs to be mindful of what she says about David. It could be the end and Carly is pretty desperate to continue. Desperate not because she is some sort of frantic saddo who needs to be permanently in a relationship but because she actually quite likes David. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. She is in a pickle. She wants him to have some payback for his suggestion (which is good and true – Carly is always right), but without it being over the top leading to the end of said relationship. But Carly is always over the top. Well, a lot of the time. This can be quite dangerous as she always thinks she is right too. And maybe David is always right. She wonders if everyone actually either openly or secretly thinks they are always right. And of course, lots of people row with each other. So clearly not everyone can be right all the time.
To deal with this potential problem David and Carly have made talking sticks. These have lots of different connotations but in the craft book she is using for inspiration, these talking sticks are to help resolve issues. David found some lovely sticks in a local wood. Carly finished hers within the week. She didn’t follow the instructions to paint it. Instead, she wrapped it in sumptuous purple yarn. What she cannot really understand is why David is taking so long to complete his stick? He wasn’t even going to paint it. He has also shown that he doesn’t need to rigidly follow instructions. Phew thinks Carly. Being with a total rule abider will not work with Carly. He has planned to sand it and varnish his stick. Carly has even brought some teak oil to speed up this process but still, weeks later, his stick is not finished. She even threatened she would take back the teak oil to inspire him to complete this project that he actually chose. Carly can let others make suggestions, but she is still flabbergasted at his snail’s pace with his stick preparation and project completion. But she remains quite glad as she won completing her stick first. Although David would say it wasn’t a race. But it does mean she can hold her stick and do lots and lots of talking uninterrupted!
Carly once went on a leadership course. Actually, one of many. In it she learnt she there are five drivers that motivate humans. Be Perfect, Be Strong, Hurry Up, Please Others and Try Hard. She feels that she most aligns with hurry up and that try hard is an anathema to her. Of course, you always try hard and achieve. Why wouldn’t you? Mostly she likes to please people, but she needs to be strong as well and hopefully perfect? But really if everyone else could hurry up then we could all get so much more done – like being strong, attaining perfection, pleasing all and trying hard. Carly realises that she has too much energy and this does impact on what she can do and more importantly how she feels others fall short of the mark. So, others should always hurry up. This might go some way to understanding why David hasn’t finished his talking stick. She is quite sure he is certainly not a hurry up person. David has taught Carly quite a bit, she reflects. Particularly how Carly isn’t always right. More importantly Carly just likes being with David. This feels right. ATM. This stands for At The Moment – not somewhere to get cash out!
Post Script
David and Carly finished some months later. A disagreement about a higher power. Carly feels certain there is one and of course is right about this…..
